CM as usual has said it so well
Thinking of you and holding you and your angels in our hearts

Thanks everyone for such kind words, you have all been through so much but are here for support xxxxx I really appreciate it.

Finally had my D&C yesterday. Tears in recovery over it finally being the end but a good sleep last night has made a big difference. The nurses and staff at Ascot were amazing and took great care of me.

I want to that everyone for all their support and kind words. I know this is just the start of my healing but we will get there. Planning for the next stage in our journey will help.

We will never forget our beautiful angels, hugs my babies take care of each other xxxx

Cleemmy - so glad the D&C went well, it makes such a difference when the staff are understanding.

Well done Clemmy for pulling through ok, I had tears too when I came out of the anesthetic. It's the time where you realize its really gone and it's heart breaking Ascot is amazing isnt it ! I have had all my endo surgeries and all my scans and things there ! did you go through the Columba Clinic with Dr Sharma ? He is so lovely !

That's amazing that you can view your D&C as part of your road to healing. So glad to hear that you were well looked after. I found them amazing there too.

Kia kaha.

Yes, was at Columba but I had a specialist from Fertility Associates do the surgery for me. They were fantastic!

Thinking of you and your angels Clemmy

Had my post op appointment today, all went well. Testing was back from the lab, they did standard tests but apparently were a little worried about possibility of a molar pregnancy so did further testing with some chromosomal tests (not the full range of chromosome tests though so no results specifically) but they determined the sex of the baby. He asked me if I wanted to know and without even thinking for a minute I said yes! It was a little boy

Not sure now that that was such a good idea as makes it all that more real. Not that it wasnt already but makes me think what life would have been like with a little man in the house. DH is sad as it was his little boy and thinks maybe I miscarry boys and that is why I have lost the others??? Not sure if that is even possible for the body to miscarry just male embryos? But I am sad that I wasnt able to hold onto our little boy for DH

Anyway enough rambling from me, just helps to get the thoughts out of my head.

oh Clemmy - wow thats a lot for you to take in.

Am thinking of you and your DH and of your Son up in heaven. I keep telling myself that one day, when it is my time, that I will get to hold my wee baby in heaven. I believe the same for you and your DH.

that probably doesn't help much - but am really feeling for you and shedding a few tears for you.

sending you love

xxx

Thanks Landa,have been thinking of you too!! Hopefully our little ones are up there together xxx

Hi Clemmy
So sorry to hear about the loss of your wee boy. Yes it is possible for you to miscarry only boy babies ( I do too), something called Natural Killer cells in the mother that recognise the growing baby as foreign matter and hits the reject button, my understanding is its kind of like when cells reject an organ transplant. Try doctor google and see what you find. Seems to be one of those possible reasons for recurrent miscarriage only now being discovered.

and i also reckon that one day we'll get to hold and meet our wee angel babies.
take care xx

Hey Clemmy, so sorry for the loss of your little boy.
We had the same thing we didn't realise they could find out and when we found out it was a little boy it just made it so real it hit DH really hard - I think they always imagine having a son to throw a rugby ball around with.
I have also heard of people who can't carry boys, Tessiebears explanination is quite good. I considered it myself but our last angel was a little girl.

Thanks Tessiebear! Is there any testing they can do to rule this out? Any treatment other than having a surrogate?