Yes of course, but if we wrap our teens in cotton wool will they ever learn to look after themselves?

Oh camon, you have me soooo so wrong. Glad you feel comfortable judging others life experiences but can I suggest you refrain from assuming what my life experiences have been and how they impacted on how I lived my life or parent my children

And to be fair, I can call it as weird as I want to. That's my opinion. I replied to the op, I didn't even read your posts, and I think it's weird she thinks it's weird. So what

I work for a Real Estate Agent and occasionally deliver his flyers, or he gets a local school student to do it for him.

Now if one of the other agents in the office needed some delivered and asked this same student to do their "area" (each suburb/town gets divided up in an office between agents so they have what is known as a "farm area" each to look after) and it wasn't close to where they lived, there would be absolutely nothing strange about them providing transport for them to get someone reliable helping them out. They have a car for their RE business so makes sense for them to provide transport if they are free rather than paying travelling expenses to the person. I feel it is a kind gesture - like "hey would love you to do some work for me but know it is out of your way so will help you out with transport".

Not weird to me

[aj=quote]

Yes of course, but if we wrap our teens in cotton wool will they ever learn to look after themselves?[quote]

I totally agree with the premise that you cannot wrap your teens in cotton wool. They must learn to stand on their own two feet - OF COURSE ! From the moment I gave birth to my children I began letting go. The object of parenting, among other things, is to prepare your children for the world and to enable them to go forth as well rounded decent human beings who CAN take care of themselves.

But part of that job of ENABLING is arming them with what they need to take their place in the world. And part of what they need is a healthy respect for those around them along with the knowledge that not everyone has the same perspective on the world as they do, and not everyone can be trusted.

That is not to say you raise them to be paranoid Mummy's kids, but they need their eyes wide open.

My Mother was incredibly naive and far to meh ! As I have stated before, not a mistake I intend to make.

There is a fine line, as in most matters. Walking that fine line is the trick.

But to be fair Camom (and I dont want thus to become a beat up) those situations of kids being snatched and injured are very different to a 16 yr old being offered some more work in a line she is already doing and a lift home.

Hay yodasmum, I am sorry I came across that way. You have mentioned you haven't read my posts. Maybe that would have made a difference.

Of course you are entitled to comment as you choose. Thats what this is about right ?

I certainly had no intention of commenting to turn this into a handbag thread.

We are all just having our say

Camon come on this is a 16 year old kid who has met the guy and it is a business situation. I think it is totally ridiculous that it is being asked if it is weird and very insulting to him.
I agree with AJ he is hardly going to attack her.
This isnt an 8 year old,it is a 16 year old!!

Hay yeah I know. And I do appreciate it is a COMPLETELY different situation.

I was commenting in the context that our own lifes experiences affect our opinions and reactions.

Just as I commented on DH and his paranoia from a male perspective re his actions being taken out of context by females.

Nah, I've read them now, and I stand by my opinion. I find it weird that people find it weird, end of. You can find it weird and scary and dangerous and whatever else, that's up to you, but I don't

If you don't want them in his car, then whatev's, tell her to catch a bus or drop her their yourself. I can't see where the weirded out bit of the whole scenario is.

And an almost identical situation to the one I was in at 16. Said male in that situation behaved in a very insulted manner too when it was suggested that he may have had ulterior motives. But he did. And I was not his only victim.

I am not suggesting the same thing is going to happen in this situation, but logically, my experiences have heavily influenced MY opinion on this being weird.

We are all entitled to our opinions, and I have mine too.

And like yodasmum, theres an end to it.

She wouldn't be the first 16 year old to have a man attempt to put his hand up her skirt instead of reaching for the gear shift. Just commenting from my OWN life experience.

We are all going to have different opinions of what is acceptable risk for our child and what is not. But the OP asked for opinions, and is getting them. Personally I don't think it is weird that he offered the lift, but I think he has put himself in a slightly risky position. And personally I would not let my daughter accept the lift. Just as I would worry if a male teacher was regularly alone with my daughter etc. most men are completely trustworthy. Some are not, and those few will seek out situations where they can get time alone with a girl, and they will seek to get her to like and trust him. Just my two cents worth.

ABSOLUTELY AGREE i dont find it weird at all that he's offered, BUT I wouldn't be putting him or your daughter in that position either.

and just to be fair cotton wool/no cotton wool even as an adult I don't make a habbit of getting in cars alone with a guy I don't know.
even if he is a business person. sorry - i dont think this is about cotton wool, i think its a bit about commonsense - and also not just for your daughter but for him too - what if she were to claim something happened - what proof does he have it didn't?? just not a situation that you should put a teenage girl in.

I think too much is read into things sometimes. It's only weird if you think it will be IYKWIM. I wouldn't panic about it.

I know myself at 16 I wouldn't have felt comfortable getting into a car with a man by myself full stop unless it was a family member.

I was shy and that kind of thing use to unnerve me. Especially sitting in the front seat. I hated the short ride home with the babysitter and it was only around the block.

It was a confidence thing for me and I felt intimidated I guess.

Have you asked her how she feels about it?