Miss 2 year old has become super bosy and pushy lately. Not just with DD2 but with us.
e.g.if we are singing to the radio in the car she will yell at us to stop so we can listen to her sing instead!
And with her friend (who is the same age)....yesterday she shoved her so hard her friend fell over and today her friend didn't want to go in the direction DD1 wanted her to so DD1 grabbed her hand and yelled at her 'No'! and told her to do what DD1 wanted her to! Very embarrassing!!
We have talked to her about it nad she has had consequences like not being allowed treats and not going to play at friends house this afternoon but don't think she cares.
She is always shoving DD2 out of the way and yelling at her and telling her off. Not too sure where she has got that from as don't shove her at all and telling her off by yelling never works!

HELP! At this rate she will have no friends and i will be one of those mothers whose child is never invited to play as she is too rough and bosy!

TIA

With physcial stuff at a younger age, I used scoop and dump - as soon as she acted physcially (luckily it wasn't often), I would scoop Lily up, put her some distance away, then go straight to whoever she was near and empathise with them. While doing the dump, i would say - yo ucan come back when you say sorry for (insert what she did). Sometimes she would come over and try to but in, so I would repeat the action again. Then she would ap[ologise.

I would do this because of a few things. Firstly, i don't believe that time out would have worded at a yunger age, and even at 2 I know most kids don't get it. Secondly, it was important for me that she saw me comforting whoever was offended against (empathy and stressing the impact of her behaviour). Thirdly, while removing her some distance, it wasn't enough to upset or feel like she was being sent away or anythinhg, so she still felt safe. ETA: it was also important to me that the response was completely immediate and not too wordy.

Might be worth trying, you never know what will work.

We have a catch phrase which we have always used. 'In our family we...' So the full thing in that instance I would say is 'In our family we let people decide what they want to do, come over when you can say sorry'.

I have found that having a catch phrase works wonders, Lily uses it a lot herself now, and we apply it to all sorts. in our family we try new things (so she always tries new foods) etc.

Thanks Felicis - i use a version of your scoop and dump at home but never thought to use it at the mall or Bunnings (where today's incident was).
DD1 can reel off an apology with her eyes shut (which is often the problem) and often adds 'and i won't do it again' which really gets my goat cos sure as eggs she will do it again. Her apologies are insincere and you can tell she is just going through the motions 'cos Mum is nagging at me'.
She can say 'we don't hit, or scream or pinch' but she still does it.........grrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I think for most kids, if you are consistent, if you keep at it, they will eventually get there. At this age apologies really are just words. In this case, i would stop her from saying the 'I won't do it again' because that is actually a lie. In our family, we don't tell lies, (or if you go for a positive worded approach, we tell the truth) so saying something like that is the same as lying.

I think going a little OTT on the empahty to the victim made it really successful for Lily. Espciallay as the only attnetion she got was the words when dumping and a cuddle after apology (she needs cuddles for reassurance, not all kids do). And a lot of behaviour is very attention seeking, so denying them that - even if it at first escalates it - removes the power of the actions (eventually!)

I am with felicis. At that age they are still developing an understanding of how their actions impact on others so if DD2 (who is almost two) is being rough I'll tell her to be gentle but if she was actually pushing children over I'd be removing her from the situation.

I am not sure that this age group truly understands consequences like missing out on treats... its too far removed from the situation... but the immediate removal from the situation probably has more impact because its in the now and that's where kiddies this age typically hang out

DD2 also needs a cuddle for reinforcement if she's been told off, even a stern look can upset her, but she will also say sorry and try to cuddle the person concerned.

If you keep on persevering with it I am sure it will happen, even if you are doing it over and over and over for a wee while. She'll see you are serious if you are doing it consistently and not responding to any of her protests or promises.

And it probably wouldn't hurt to praise her if she is playing really nicely as well. Give her lots of cuddles and praise if she is letting kids play with her toys or is being gentle with children.

GOod luck