My 4.5 year old son is the wriggliest most fidgety kid ever.

At meal times he is half hanging off his chair, up on his knees, back on his bottom etc. When he's watching tv or reading/playing he's sitting/standing/one leg on the couch/walking around the room/lying down.

It's like he's incapable of sitting still. Apart from it being really annoying at the table and distracting if we're all sitting down to watch a movie or do something together, it's also a problem at Preschool. I'm doing some sewing for them and they asked me to make some snakes with pulses in them for the wriggly kids to have on their laps at mat time because the weight apparently helps them sit and it gives them something to fiddle with. DS is by far the worst wriggler in his class!

I've tried all sorts of different things and nothing has worked. He's starting school in a year and I don't know how he'll get on there unless he makes a major improvement this year. He's currently watching TV standing on an armchair with one leg hanging off the arm

If you sit with him to read or do something he's all over you leaning and climbing and fidgeting. I find it really really irritating.

Is this a little boy thing or what?

Well I don't know if it's normal or not but it's normal in our house!

DS2 is by far the worst but all the boys were/are like this to a degree. Steve Biddulph (sp?) talks about it in his books about raising boys and Manhood. They are certainly wired to move that's for sure.

We call it "being in perpetual motion"

Yep my boys are like that too. Although DS1 sits still and well in class at school so maybe just a home thing for him?

DD is like that to a degree too... we often tell her she must have ants in her pants!! She is not to bad if she is doing a craft activity etc but anything else and she is forever moving around!

I have the same problem, drives me crazy sometimes all that jiggling and wriggling around. I just always ask him if he has ants in his pants which he just laughs and carries on! He even flaps around when sleeping!

oh snap Karen - ants in the pants

Same here, almost incapable of sitting still, or if he is sitting still, he is fiddling with something, or if he is still, he is lying down, or hanging upside down off the couch watching TV!

So fairly normal then The only time I ever see DS still is when he's drawing. Even when he sleeps he's tossing and turning all over the place. When he was younger we'd find him in the most impossible positions in his bed, we thought we'd never get him sleeping the right way around.

My DD is like that too. I've found that with things like learning spelling words etc, she learnt them better if she was moving around when doing them. She needs to be moving. She's 13 now and is still quite fidgety.
ETA She sometime says 'I can't sit still. I've got too much energy.'

once again our kids are like twins

Ds is really good at daycare during transition to school class, but that's it! I HATE sleeping with him, it's kick kick, blankets on, blankets off, whack you in the face with his arm!

What about giving him a ball of bluetack to play with? Some kids need to move so giving that movement a focus can help.

Yep, my boy is like that. He can actually concentrate better and longer on something that is difficult for him, like a board game, if he can fidget a lot. So when I see it as his way of helping himself focus, I can put up with it a lot better!

In situations where stillness is more appropriate, then I think the kindy's suggestion of weighted toys is a good one - but if it doesn't work then you can get all sorts of 'fidget toys' (think squeezy balls, pully silicon worms, chewy things, etc) that kids can use to keep their fingers busy and therefore their body still. I haven't found one my boy really takes to (other than the iPad!!!) but I'm still looking...

I think there is such a sliding scale of what is 'normal' in terms of sensory behavior IYKWIM, and I guess it all depends on how much it interfers with function.

Fidgeing in itself though it a functional behavior, for many people, ( my self included) it actually facilitates concentration, the movement has an actual neurological effect that enhances concentarion and organization. My Ds1, is a chronic fidgeter, I made him up a 'fidget bag' that he gets to use when he is doing tasks like his homework, it has a couple of different things in it atm, a little stretchy frog, that is nice and tacky and gives lots of feedback when you pull it, a stress ball, a cush ball and a couple of paper clips joined together. At work I have made up some of those balloon toys filled with flour, for children, they make great figdgets, I actually have one on my desk that I use when I am trying to write things up!

BL is right, you can get the same type of effect using weight, lots of people crave this and do it naturally, ie. needing the weight of a heavy duvet to sleep at night. At work we have the loveliest weighted soft toys, just ordinary soft toys that have been modified with sand or weights, it is incredible how calming one of those can be.

BL there are some great sensory toys here

http://www.sensorycorner.co.nz/catalog/

BBB, I am thinking of approaching school to see if my boy can take his bluetack to school and his hour glass, have you had any experience with how these concentration tools work in class situations?

Tulips the reason I made one up for my Ds was because I had made them up for children I worked with in a classroom setting. I haven't done one at school for awhile but usually I make up a 'fidget box' or bag and the child choses one thing that they can have at their desk when they are doing tabletop/concentration type work. Depending on the child, the teacher and the classroom it can work really well.

yep normal in our house too - annnoying tho.
DS#1 def went into that stage for a few years - i had completely forgotten about it until #2 started doing it. #2 is stilllll like it but his mouth goes non stop at the same time - honestly he has a great career prospect as a radio dj...he literally NEVER stops talking add that to the fidgets....MAAAAN sometimes i just have to look away and take a very very deeep breath lol.
also - remember to worm him - lol sounds weird saying that, but bcos DS is always fidgety its hard to tell when he gets them (app you should worm kids 3-4 times p/year - ooops) espec as if they get them and have them for a while fidgeting can become habitual.

oh and yeah - school they've both done fine, I cant do parent help as i find myself growling DS for swinging on his chair - he def mucks around and fiddles in class - but he's in the top reading and maths groups and got moved up to the next class early on so can't have affected that too much - sitting down to write a story tho - thats another issue allllltogeter - especially with all the distractions going on in a class-so i do work on that at home, get him to write for me (we have those junior writing books just like at school 4 use at home) so when #1's doing his homework quietly i make #2 sit up and do me some writing - i tell him not to tell me about it until he's WRITTEN it - otherwise he tells me how he thought to write every word and how he did a squiggle on 'a' and how he's going to rub it out now, and how the rubber left little crumbs and they dont taste good and ...... so on lol

That's really interesting about sensory stuff BBB. My DD had sensory issues esp as a preschooler, she had certain textures she couldn't go near and noise and smell was often too much for her. Even now she's not a fan of touch.

As with everything to do with my kids, DS is the opposite. Had to be carried when he was a baby. Had to be wrapped super tight to sleep until he was quite old. Hates shoes because he wants to feel the ground on his feet. LOVES cuddles. Loves being naked. Loves playdough/fingerpaint/anything tactile. He can't get enough touch.

I haven't even thought about fidgety toys but they sound brilliant for him. I'm definitely going to look into that and get these weighted snakes made for preschool too.

It is a bit overly simplistic Pudding but basically our sensory behavior fits into two categories, it is either sensory seeking or sensory avoiding, some people have a general pattern i.e they are an 'avoider' like most of the things you describe for your dd, or they are a 'seeker' like many of the things you describe for your ds, of course lots of people can be both seekers and avoiders, depending on what kind of sensory stimulation it is, they might hate touch and avoid it, but need movement and seek it out all the time IYKWIM.

Everyone has there own sensory behavior, again, it is all about function and if something they 'need' to do interfers with that, you have to try to find a way to make it more functional, IMO it is really important to honor the sensory need and not try to take it away, so with my DS the fidgeter, we are trying to chanel his need to move into using a fidget bag. Hopefully that makes some sense, lol.

I have used play dough on his desk for my fidgeter, just a small ball. Thanks for the reminder though, I might put a small koosh ball or something in his pencil case for high school.
Thanks for these ideas, they are great, I'm going to go make a box for his desk for homework!

oooOOooh that is SO interesting about the fidget toy - what a great idea.....I'm def going to try something like that with DS - how does it work do they just kind of fidget with it in one hand while they're thinking and working things out -
gosh thinking about it i am a fidgeter too....my favourite i think is with a small ball/piece of fruit kind of flipping it between my hands when im trying to think (i hadn't even really thought about why the little ball always ends up sitting on my desk haha.

Bbb thanks for the link will do some shopping!

For school kids who are struggling to sit still and need to use their hands to work (rather than fidget!) you can get a sort of bungy strap that attaches to the chair leg and their ankle, so they can kick their foot to get sensory input. Also weighted blankets or wheat bag. My son is going to try a weighted vest next week to see if he likes it and it helps him focus. So there are lots of options out there!

Bl I have seen weighted vests make a real difference to some children, sounds like you are getting some really good input with your Ds

There are a couple of other things that you can try to, some children respond really well to wearing tight lycra undergarments, I think this is really interesting, as I am a bit of a fidgeter myself and in the past couple of years have taken to wearing shape wear almost every day ( due to my jelly belly), on the days I don't have it on I have noticed that I actually feel quite antsy and am very distracted by it! I think it is giving me lots of proprioceptive input which I obviously need, it is the same principal.

Another thing you can try in the classroom/at kindy is a movensit cushion these work by giving lots of feedback and in theory stop children from needing to move around in their chair all the time, sometimes they work really well, other times it makes no difference, all depends on the child.

BBB you just gave me a GREAT idea. I've been thinking about tight clothing for my boy for ages but haven't got around to doing anything about it. I have a couple of nursing tops with 'control panels' down the front - I can't stand them cos they are too tight! But I might be able to turn them into something DS could wear. Luckily they aren't girly colours!

That cushion looks interesting, might ask our OT if she has one we can try, its a lot to spend on something that might not work for a particular child.

Really interesting info thanks

DD is a sensory avoider but she manages it herself now so we barely notice any more. When she was little it was really hard work and she was pretty obsessive about hand and feet washing and thought she had food around her mouth whenever she ate (when she didn't).

DS is the opposite and the fidget bag sounds brilliant for him.

oh wow this is so interesting. have bn off googling.
DS#2 has had these weird little quirks ever since bn little...things like not bn able to walk over a crack, only wearing certain shoes/clothes (not in the normal i dont like it way as was too young for that when it started- more in the when you put that on me i go crazy until i rip it off way)..he sleeps in tights and a dress (that funnily is quite fitting around the chest area) i put him in pj's but 9 times out of 10 i go to tuck him in and he's rechanged. the fidgets....everything having to go in his mouth (more as an older child than a baby).
im going to get a few things off of that website to see if we can help calm a little at sitting still times - not sure about school tho dont know how i can help there his teacher is very very old school.

Haha that's my boy too!

As a teacher, I've used Koosh balls etc for fidgeters, but it seems to depend on the child whether it works - some kids are great, some just use them to annoy others or don't like them at all. You have to teach the kids how to not distract others with them otherwise (and I've seen it) you have Koosh ball tug of war!

I think its age/developmental too, especially for boys = once they get up around 7 years old they seem to settle in their skin a little!

not sure if its relevant but my friend's son has low muscle tone, and whilst not so bad now, he does have trouble sitting "up" as in still and straight all the time. I know its something she mentioned, that it looks like he is fidgeting all the time but its actually because he can't get comfortable....not sure if that's something in play here?