How do you stop your child from constantly telling tales about their younger sibling?

My DD (7.5) is constantly on her brother's back. Every little thing he does, she'll growl him for it or come and report it to me or her dad. Or she'll tell him off really loudly so she's sure we'll hear. It's little things like him putting his feet on the table, or standing up on the couch. Things that granted, he's not meant to do, but I don't really want or need a second in command and it's driving me bonkers having her watching him and waiting for an opportunity to try and get him in trouble.

This morning we got woken up by the door bursting open and DD all in a flap telling us a mile a minute that her brother was touching one of her toys (not a special toy, one that he can usually play with). He was crying because he'd been yelled at. Once we'd calmed that down I heard her say to him with real venom "I'm watching you Ben". Argh! Such a horrible way to start the morning.

We've told her about ten billion times that she's not his mother, she's not in charge of him, I don't need her to tell me how to be a mother, it's none of her business etc. She continues.

She's also pretty critical of DH and I and a bit uppity at the moment, like she's on the lookout for anyone doing or saying anything wrong so she can pick up on it.

What's your approach with this kind of thing? If I say 'I'm not listening to it" or "I don't want to know" she'll go mad screaming that I never listen to her, or that I don't understand what really happened. It's always something really silly and small and it's over and over and over all day.

Help me!

No help, just sympathy! We are having the same problem! I have just given dd a huge telling off about the state of her room and she absolutely screamed at me. Grrrr made me so mad!

I just found a thing on Pinerest Pudding... have a toy that the kids tell tales too.. "tattle toy" or something. Was planning to use it in my classroom (Year 3s) as it can be a long day hearing tales about everyone! It had a little poem that went with it along the lines of "come and tell me your problems and you'll feel better but if someone is hurt, tell the teacher"

Although in saying that DD and DS are forever tattling about stupid things "He went in my ROOM!" (yeah whatever, tell someone who cares )

I got so over the stupid bickering that when we asked the kids seriously what we should do about it, C answered (all smartarsey) "send us to our room for 30 seconds". And that's what we do, it's a no blame system and they aren't allowed argue or discuss until they come out. It seems to serve to seperate the warring parties and the conflict has dropped markedly. For the first few days there were a LOT of 30 seconds!

What about saying to her, that if shes comes to you to tell on her brother, that she will receive the same punishment as her brother....so if she feels its her job to be the rule police she will also have to suffer the same punishment?

Liam did this for a bit and I used that tactic on him and he quickly stopped telling me stuff his brother had done wrong.

At that age you don't need to keep telling her shes not the mother, she knows that you just need to stop the behaviour.

hahaha oh yes. I made the mistake of really digging in to #1 about growling #2...and we went over and over and over for him to come and tell and adult instead ....dug my own grave much??
no advice as dealing with it myself...honestly i feel like he's the house ticket master sometimes.
and poor DS is still getting grumped at from big brother.
the WORST is when i do have to have words with #2...then #1 chimes in or finishes my growling off with his own snide comments. soooo frustrating.
#2 said to me the other day 'this is the worst holidays ever all i hear is grump grump grump' after id put him in timeout then after he came out #1 was giving him a piece of his mind about his behaviour

and then there's the time that they've realllly done something and you go 'why didn't you tell me he was doing that' lol

But then my boys are both old enough now to be more tesonsible for their behaviour Whereas it might be a bit more tricky with a littler person. I have asked Liam and Connor to watch their brother for ten mins while I have a shower and then they would come and tell me if an adult needed to step in.

lol mine are 8 and 5 and just dont seem to be able to judge important tattling/non important tattling bcos yanno to them #2 touching my lego IS IMPORTANT lol..if i told #1 to stop telling on #2 he literally would - and #2 just randomly decides every now and again to get up to major mischief - to which I NEED to know he's doing

What about ignoring it along the lines of saying each time - Oh, ok. Add - Thanks for letting me know. if you think that she will do the 'you aren't listening to me'. Or do the active listening type thing - oh ok, So you are telling me that Ben is putting his feet on the couch. That was she KNOWS you have heard her, and are choosing not to react. If she screams in response, then iI would apply house rules that you have regarding screaming inside, while making sure that whatever was discussed around it did not involve the tell tale part at all.

Just give a response to acknowledge taht you have listeneed, but that you are not going to react, when the only thing you would be reacting is to her = she is controlling your actions by making you cross with her.

Hi

Sorry, I have been reading and I keep meaning to reply but then I get interrupted.

Things have improved after DH had a talk with her, and I've been trying the "thanks for letting me know" which has had varied success. Usually she says "So what are you going to do about it?" to which I say something like "I'll keep an eye on it". She wants to know what exact punishment will be dealt out if B breaks the rules.

But overall, it's getting better.

better is better than not, lol! Hopefully it will continue to improve.