Hi

My DS has been having difficulties at school and home. He can not sit still, constantly talks, fidgets, moves, interupts, is easily distracted and the list can go on.

We have had a meeting with his teacher, the head of the junior school, the principal and the deputy principal (not fun). They have suggested that we get a pediatric assessment done to either rule in or rule out ADHD. Because until we doe this it will continue to come up.

The more I am reading about ADHD, the more I am convinced that he has it.

So what are the steps to getting the ball rolling and also what is involved in getting the diagnosis. To get the referral letter from the gp, does he have to come with me or can I just go and talk to him?

I am sure there are other things that I will think of but too exhausted at the moment.

Thanks

i just went and talked to my GP and told them i wanted to write a letter of referral, i didn't really ask them anything else, i don't think my GP would know much about ADHD - i mean, you know, they just deal with regular stuff? when i had F they didn't even know that much about reflux

the pediatrician we saw gave us a rating scale to fill out that even M's teacher agreed was stupid, all 'always, often, sometimes, not often, never' multiple choice type answers, no room for 'yes in some situations but not in others' 'yes but...' type answers. i know why they do it that way (to make it clear and certain) BUT at the same time i also feel like it pushes those kids who could go either way into a diagnosis.
and then, you know, that was it, he had ADHD.

for me, i always thought there was something ELSE going on there and i did lots and lots of reading.. when he was in yr 2 he didn't want to do the work because it was easy and boring and his teacher thought he was stupid and lazy and i read something about gifted children and went 'humm, nah' and then i read something about 2E/children with ADHD who were gifted and i went OMG THAT IS HIM. i had him tested and the psych we saw confirmed he was ADHD but he also came out in the gifted range and TBH that explains SO much more about the way he 'is' than the ADHD label, IYKWIM??

i still think there are other things there, this year we will test for dyslexia/dyspraxia as those were things suggested when we had him assessed - but they said not to test until he was 8-ish. he could probably do with some OT help as well, but we can't find anyone right now. all the little things... they all help uncover and explain him a little bit more, so i'd definitely say, if you think that there's something else there, get it checked out. the pediatrician we saw would NEVER have suggested we go any further than him.

I could have written that post myself NoLi. DS#1 had been at school a total of 3 weeks and we had the meeting with his teacher the spec Ed teacher, assist principal and the principal (we got a bit ambushed as we had assumed everything at school was fine(which did at the time seem a little to good to be true), teacher hadn't let on that he was really that bad.)re:DS's behaviour and conduct in the class room. They wanted him tested for ADHD or similar. I agreed as DH and I have always kind of struggled to control him he's been hard work since he was a baby and yep fits the bill for most of the criteria. Well anyway took him to the gp to get the ball rolling and he sent a referral off to starship and 3 working days later we got a letter to say our referral for DS has been declineddue to insufficent public hosp resources. So the school well more so his teacher is in despair that they won't even assess him. Us well he's our #1 we love him for who is and have never known him any other way so have adapted to his mannerisms and out there behaviour. So who knows where to from here we can't afford to go privately so this is sort of a brickwall. His school initially said the school was over budget for the year so couldn't provide him with an Teacher Aid to help him in the class room esp during writing and mat time as he would rather be running around the room or rolling on the floor But just today we found out that the school board has approved 4 funded hours a week for him to have an aide

Sorry that was a bit long winded, but I do hope you have more success in getting some answers

Also if anyone reading this has had the same thing happen and been declined by the public system what avenues are there ?

Go to GP and get referred to a child psychologist. They will then send a letter to your sons teacher who will fill in a checklist of behaviours/grades. There may be 2-3 meetings before a diagnosis is given (as well as testing) as in my opinion it is over diagnosed and there is such a range. Make sure you go to a reputable paed.

LCM

That is great that your child gets 4 funded hours a week but it won't be enough. We have just had to increase my sons meds for the first time since middle of last year because his teacher was at her wits end with his distracting behaviours. I really feel for her, no teacher is equiped to manage the special needs of our kids. She told me yesterday that she was not enjoying her job at the moment and that she was finding him increasingly difficult to manage. He upsets the whole class. I hope that today is better for both of them with him on his increased dose.

In the meantime she is now having to manage the other 25 kids who think their job is to report on everything he does wrong and tell tales constantly on him. Like mini teachers.

OMG!!

So it is real eye opener/wake up call to me how important it is to get the meds right for him so as to preserve his reputation and friendships with the other kids/parents in class.

I don't want my child being labelled the class clown and it explains why we don't get play dates or birthday invites so much.

Another thing someone told me once was. We all get use to the way our kids are and our tolerance to the behaviours becomes very high. It doesnt mean that it is acceptable or should be accepted by other people or that their behaviours are actually fine and normal. If you get what I mean.

If you are in Auckland their are a number of private specialists who will diagnoise your child.

Their is this guy and their are others.

The Starfish Clinic Ltd. Dr Kev Appleton, Child, Youth and Adult Psychiatrist ... Treatment and Therapy in Children Adolescents Adults and Families. ADHD.

I know the hospital system is totally full. Mine only works two days a week becuase she works elsewhere so getting an appointment is very tough. Once you are in the system it is good.

This guy is covered by any health insurance because he is registered on the medical council of NZ or somthing like that.

Sorry if I have rambled too much. Obviously this is somthing very close to home for me.

see that makes me a bit livid. it is the schools job to report to you how your child is doing and if they have an issue, and if you thought that everything was fine, then the school is not doing there job. they should not be bloody ambushing you, that is totally uncool. really what should have happened is that the teacher should have seen you and talked to you properly and seen if you thought that there were any strategies to be put in place... etc etc.

some schools just want to slap labels on kids that they can't cop with to make themselves feel like, you know, the problem isn't them, it's the kid. i think that kids eventually pick up on that and it must be a really negative thing for them to discover that that's how the school percieves them. it's totally unsupportive and not going to help ANYONE.

medication could be a great step but it's not the be all end all of issues. even medicated he's probably still going to need assistance etc - honestly, it sounds like the school just wants you to go out and get a diagnosis without actually offering any real support (like louise says, 4 hrs TA time isn't heaps, it is up to his ACTUAL teacher to support him - i know teachers are busy, but it doesn't take THAT much). it is flat out ignorance about ADHD and unwillingness to actually learn anything about it.... gaahhh that attitude just gets right up my nose.

go back to the school and tell them that you can't afford assessment and they might be able to pull some strings for you. BUT also ask them what strategies that they're going to put in place to help manage your sons behaviour and make sure he's learning to the best of his potential. they are legally bound to make sure they cater for your childs needs, don't let them get off with doing nothing.

I agree teacup. But, it seems some teachers are better equiped to deal with that than others. It is the case at my childs school. His teacher last year had her strategies and his teacher this year is very young and my son is probabaly the first child she has had to deal with in her teaching career.

I have suggested things to her and sent literature to school for her to read. I get the impression she does not want to complain or tell me too much. But I can read between the lines and no when things are not going well.

Sometimes in the school setting it is really hard to know what to do and what is appropriate.

The issue becomes a problem when they start underachieving at school. That's when you need to do somthing about it.

A lot of advise is that the child should be seated next to quieter children who are less likely to be distracted or to distract and to sit them at the front on the mat close to the teacher. Or if you need to, to sit them by themselves. But my son is horrified at the thought of being seated by himself.

And yeap your right meds help him to be able to do his work, it does not help him with his social skills, working in group settings and other stuff that he has to do during the school day.

Thanks for all the info/advice We as of today have a IEP (individual Education Program) set up for him with a hugelist of objectives to get through in just 3 short weeks before its reviewed again. So thats progress. Also I'm doing a few hours TA'ing myself (lucky to have a manager who understands)so all up he's going to get 7 hrs a week TA for the rest of this term. Also he's only doing half days as he's just to distruptive in the afternoons.

We don't have health insurance and I have priced private assessment. So might see how he is over the next few weeks with the plan in place and re evaluate things then. The school are more than willing to write a supporting letter to help get a referral processed but we would all like to see how this IEP works first So pretty good progress. Mind due we've had to keep pushing the point with them to get this far.

Hi LCM

That all sounds good, nice that you can be in the class room with him too for a hour or so a couple of times a week.

Somthing else to consider for later, I think you should ring your GP and ask what else can be done to get acceptance into public system paeds. They could send a copy of the school letter and he could write again stating that he really needs assessment and the family can't afford private specialists. With the fact that he is having a TA and has been told only to do mornings is a good indication of the issues he is having and you would be able to apply for a disability allowance, carer support days that should be a great help financially. To do that you need a letter from the specialist. If you went down that track it would help pay for a TA and some holiday programes, after school car etc. Winz pay that too you.

Could be worth a try.

My son had a better day at school yesterday on the tweaked meds and even got "star of the day" His teacher was rapt, Mum and Dad were rapt, he on the other hand was very /cool/casual about it.

Thanks for that Louise. We have a followup appt with the gp on tuesday so will definately bring that up with him. Thats great that your son had a better day at school yesterday hopefully the tweaked meds will make a further difference. How wonderful and proud he must of felt attaining the star of the day. Thats so awesome... I wish I could share something positive but DS was reprimanded yesterday for unruly behaviour he went out of the school gates which is on a main road and was spashing in the puddles and today he hit another boy from behind and the other kid punched him back but in the head so when I got to school at 1.30 he was sitting on the floor in tears and visibly in distress I know he started it but he reckons this other kid punched him a couple of days ago and he was just paying him backI decided to start a journal documenting every thing that happens at school it all but can help right!?

A journal is a very good idea because the specialists do ask you to talk with them about what is happening. I use to be lost for words, not know where to start, what was important or not because there was so many incidents, so much trouble, so many problems.

I use to feel very nervous about talking to his teachers at school, I could never anticipate what I was going to be told. Most days it was great, some days not so like the time he decided to pee outside in the garden at lunch time in front of the girls....the girls were horified....eekkkkk.

My son asked about his ADHD this morning and said to me, "am I going to have ADHD for ever and have to take medication every day, am I always going to be an idiot"

Wow, we had a big conversation around that...I'm not sure how much headway I made with it though.

I guess it is a warning/reminder for DH and I to watch what we say to him when we refer to his idiotic behaviour....

We don't always manage his behaviour that well at times. It's hard on everyone.

Big hugs for my son.

Sorry Louise I only just saw this post I hope the rest of the week went better. Is this your DS8?

I dread chats with L's teacher everyday its something, but i have to ask as its so important to my journal of him as sad as that sounds. L was only at school 3 days this week and I was with him at school helping for 2+hrs. I have started to see what shes up against and its starting to scare me a little HOW did I miss this? I look at other kids in his class going about there education and then theres my son lying across a table at mat time and spending more time grooming the child in fronts hair then listening to his teachers instructions. Anyway the school are insistant they want him assessed so are going to forward a letter which I can take along to our gp. Its strange I never thought he was really any different to others his age until he's in a room full of them and the differences standout a mile.

Yeap that is our experience too, we notice how far behind socially or maturity wise when he has a play date and his mates are calmly wanting to build lego and my son wants to show his private parts and be silly with all that kind of thing. Picking up chairs and pretending to throw them....He is playing in a world of his own. This is unmedicated mind you...never again !!!!I guess it explains why that friend never came back again.

It is good that you have been to the school to witness that behaviour because now you can support the teacher and your son better now that you understand exactly what is going on.

It is really hard to see your kids like that. It's not naughty behaviour either our's is mostly that he just cant control/help or regulate himself.

It is also not good for the other kids to see him doing that because they start labelling your boy, in fact so do the teachers quite quickly.

Good luck, I hope you get the assessment soon and some answers. Keep up with the journal.

My pead recommend a book called "All dogs have ADHD", its for the kids to read.

Just wondering how your going NoLi? and Louise?

We've made a bit of head way with DS#1 I just was over it and snapped last week I just couldn't understand why the teachers could be so cruel and constantly at me (as I do the pickups)Just when I thought things were improving every goes belly up again. To us thats all we've ever known so look at DS#2 and think he's starnge and too compliant. So not taking any rejection anymore we went private and got in straight away and got the teacher to do her questionaire and long story short he has ADHD with ?aspergers the spec was floored by his behaviour and couldn't believe that nobody in the health world took the slightest bit of notice. So we have a diagnosis and can now plan for his future with eyes wide open now. All I feel at this point in time is relief like a huge weight off my shoulders that finally somebody listened. Optimistically cautious is how we are approaching the next steps but over time I think he'll improve and just take one day at a time

Hiya were not too bad here. We had a pretty bad day yesterday with our big boy who we decided to unmedicated for the day and then he decided to take run away from home for an hour yesterday afternoon as he had an major upset about somthing. It is just a constant reminder to us as to the reasons why we need to give him his "medicine"

Its a big hurdle to jump getting the help you need. I am pleased that you finally have the answers or an explanation for what has been going on with your boy.

What are they going to do now for Liam? What was the schools reaction?

Louise. How worrying for you all when he ran away so glad it was just for the hour but i bet at the time it felt longer. L is prone to going missing at malls and especially the zoo its a sickening feeling when they do that one second there there and then goneThen when he's found its no big deal

Plan is simple we have started on 1/4 tab of rit for a week then 1/2 tab for a month and return to spec just before his current script runs out to do a progress report (teacher and us)so far so good. So far no side effects still to early to report on any improvement of behaviour but its not getting worse either so to be expected. We have a meeting with the school principal tomorrow to inform her of his current situation. So far so good with his school they are quite supportive of our actions so far in getting him diagnosed and L will continue with his TA 4 hours a week for the rest of the term but he still has to do 1/2 days(so home at 1.30 daily)But next year I'm hoping his schooling will become more normalised. Well heres hoping..Also hoping we get a teacher who has taught kids like L before and can be a bit more supportive and understanding

Sorry only just came back on here and read.

We are doing not too bad, well actually that is a lie. DS has had a shocking week at school, with one of the days us getting a phone call to come and pick him up and for him to stay home for the afternoon. That was awesome, not.

He has a new teacher this term as his one is really sick. She is brilliant and so much better than his old one. She is very routine, so he knows what is expected of him. However, he is rebelling against her as she is pushing him with work. He was just cruising along and she wants him to do more as he is capable.

We have his appointment with Child Mental Health next Tuesday so hoping that we can get the ball rolling quickly. I just want answers and I want my son helped. He is such a cool little guy and it upsets me that he is starting to get offside with some of the kids at school. What also really hacks me off and gets the mumma bear out is when he is blamed first for anything that goes wrong around him. He also becomes the scapegoat for other kids being naughty. Now don't get me wrong he can be an instigator for a lot of things but not every time.

So hopefully the ball gets rolling and quickly so that my boy can get back to being the kid he has always been, without the extras

Nice to hear from you NoLi I'm sorry to see things have been mostly up and down with your DS

I hope you appt goes well on tuesday And hopefully you feel more informed and positive about getting the help he possibly needs.

L has just completed his 3rd week on his meds and everyone around him has noticed a huge difference in his conduct and behaviour I'm feeling really reassured that we have done the best thing. He actually has friends now. One kid in particular came up to me the other day and said that L was his best buddy now I questioned the little boy more and said why is he your best buddy now and he replied because he doesn't hurt me any more man that made me sad. But onwards we just look forward now. His teacher is not the most organised so looking forward to hopefully getting a more organised and understanding teacher next year best of all though is that we haven't had any side effects to date Really looking forward to seeing the spec again on friday

We hadn't heard anything from the hospital since our appointment so followed it up after a particularly trying last couple of days. We are now going to have to get a formal assessment done to get a confirmation of ADHD but the clinical psychologist does think that he has it.

But the stink thing is that there is at least a 2 month wait before we can have this done. I am so freaking mad that they didn't get back to us before Christmas so we could get on the waiting list back then.

So I told her that I was at my wits end with him and near breaking point and she has a meeting tomorrow and will push to get him up the list. So really hope that we can get seen soon, as I really don't want another term of this.

So a mini update

Anymore News Noli?

We have been declined for our assessment, which when i got the letter yesterday i bawled my eyes out.

So looks like we will have to go private and see if we can get anything donw.
But at $140 start and then $100 after that it will be a struggle.
We have P on fish oil, but i don't really see it helping yet...