Hi girls.
I haven't been on here in aaaaaaaaaaaaages and thought I'd stop by today.
We're 2 days away from Chloe's 5th angelversary and I'm both dreading it and looking forward to it.
I'm volunteering at the Sands Wanganui office and was told I'm not expected to work on that day, which is nice, it's hard to answer the phone if you're bawling your eyes out.

I had to copy a poem written for the mums of SB babies last week for the newsletter and it took me forever because it made me cry so much I couldn't see.

I just wanna send everyone a big giant HUG today.

Will be thinking of you and your precious Chloe over the coming days Be gentle with yourself, it is a very bittersweet milestone

Hi DFL, long time no see. Hugs right back Thinking of you this week, its a tough one for sure, we just had our 5th anniversary as well. Hope you do something special to mark the occasion

Pinklady

I need to find some time to make a cake, no clear idea what yet.

Eloise is starting at the Grief and Loss Workshop for Kids on Wednesday afternoon and me and her have decided we're going out for tea, like we did last year.

Aidan asked about her for the first time about 2 months ago. He found the plaque I have on the mantelpiece (Glover Memorials in Lower Hutt does them for free for angel mums) and he asked me about it. Then after I'd explained, he grabbed the little urn and asked "chloe in the box? this box? I need get he out."

And T.A. too

We got our plaque from them for the 5th anniversary (bubs was previously unnamed, but we decided this was a good time to do it, as one day we will tell the girls about him as well). So we did a planting on the anniversary and placed the plaque underneath, and we also did another plant nearby and buried Olivia's placenta. (2 years ago on the anniversary, we buried Kellie's and Jess' placentas).

Oh that's lovely!!

sending a right back at you DFL

Paper!!
too!

DX just picked Eloise up. He said he has a AP/DP thing til 5.30pm this afternoon and asked if he had Aidan tonight (he's confused re the days)
I said, 'oh, me and Eloise thought we'd all go out for dinner tonight.'
He looked and thought that meant he didn't have Aidan tonight so i explained I meant ALL of us, it's 5 years since Chloe this year, and I thought it was important.
He suggested that instead of splashing out we have a yummy meal at his house or mine.

I kinda feel like I railroaded him into celebrating with us but tough. He'll survive and I think it's important for Eloise.

Hugs for today

DFL thinking of you today

DFL thinking of you and your family today

You know I hardly ever head in here but for some reason tonight thought I would.............& here I find you DFL I knew only too well that it was 5 years this year as my Chloe's anniversary is fast approaching here and I feel as though I won't be able to breathe when it finally does
Thinking of you & your family & of course your precious wee angel

The kids and I went down to DX's house for dinner, yummy roast chicken and curly fries and then we had cake.

Tammy!

My gosh she's grown DFL!!! Glad you guys had a nice evening remembering your wee Chloe.

Tammy, thinking of you also with your Chloe's anniversary coming up. Please do stick around and talk if it helps

She's 7 1/2 now...

And then there's my bubba...

Not a bubba anymore eh! Thanks for sharing.

Thinking of you DFL, glad you got together as a family .
to you too tammy

Gosh the kids have grown DFL

Glad you had a nice family dinner

You know coming back here brings back so many memories and makes me feel so incredibly sad yet it is the one place that I feel like others actually understand

Bubba got a haircut today so he looks even less like a bubba...

He keeps making the list for his birthday party and adding Chloe to it.

Paper and Tammy and PinkLady too.

DFL...glad you had a nice dinner for your Chloe! 5 years...there seem to be quite a few of you guys around here that are reaching the 5 year mark! to you all!!!

And no, your DS sure isnt a bubba anymore is he! You have beautiful kids!

to everyone else too!

He's still my bubba though

I bet your eldest daughter is too... I know mine is!!!

Yeah, there was a few of us at once, me and Fleur (MrsSloppers) in July, then Lauriel and Tammy not long after; we were all on TTC together at the time.

I feel terribly 'guilty' at times that I have gone on to have my gorgeous family, but Fleur is still hurting so badly with two more stillbirths since then

And then others like Trudes too, who whilst I don't "know" her so well, her story resonates with me, and I just feel terrible that she still has empty arms too

Yes, I feel like that sometimes too... to all the gorgeous ladies!!

And yes, you're right, Eloise is still my bubba too!!

I know exactly what you mean Emily, it's so unfair for those ladies and I wish there was something I could do and I did check out the surrogacy site thinking that may be a route I'd like to take but it just didn't *seem* right maybe because those ladies aren't Fleur or someone I feel like I know well enough to do it for & of course I'm not exactly an ideal surrogate with my crap history

I'm plodding on. I was thinking I'd quite like to get a tattoo (gulp never thought I'd say that) to mark Chloes 5th year in heaven was thinking of little angel wings on my shoulder with her name & date but want to make sure I get a really good tattoo artist doing it and don't know where to start...............

Two of my friends (Handy and her DP) SWEAR by a lady in Hamilton, she has won heaps of awards. Is that too far for you to travel? I can get the details if you want

Surrogacy is such a lovely thing for you to think of doing I think I could only do it for my sister, or if it was someone else really close to me, but thats for my own selfish reasons and how difficult pregnancy is (I get bad MS til 20-22ish weeks) and how freaking hard it must be to give the baby up at the end. I really admire those that have the strength to do it!

Oh that sounds lovely Tammy!

It is very sad I agree I often feel guilty when I read about what others have gone through...and STILL going through! Life sure can be extremely cruel!

I wish there was something more I was able to do/offer to those suffering still...but sadly am unable to!

I know the ones you mean too Emily...they are fantastic! not by personal experience...but by close friends...

I got a sunflower and the date for my Chloe And then I added butterflies for Eloise and Aidan and then a ladybug for my m/c so I have all my babies with me all the time.

Hi DFL Thanks for your well wishes for our angel Maia.

Thinking of you as Chloe is now 5. Ill light a candle for her tonight.
(even though its past her birthday I think shell love having a post birthday celebration )
XXx