I've been trying to respond for a few days!

I'm so sorry your family arent more understanding! My family are the same...so are DH's family too...for them all it's something "bad" that happened, and should be swept under the carpet!

I do wonder weather it's worth talking to them about how you feel...I am considering that, I now and again tell my mum, but all to often get told that it's not normal to be grieving this long! I sometimes think it's an exclusive club, that no one else will ever understand until they have gone through it too...

I hope that you will have a little miracle in your arms soon!

Hi DEEDZ yes it is very much swept under the carpet from their pint of view. Weve spoken to them about it alot but nothing changes. Its saddens me but we just have to accept it.
There are no rules re grieving-no one can tell you its not normal to be grieving this long! You grieve anyway you went and for how long you want. Its a personal journey.

Thinking of you and wee Rosa (Maia will be holding her hand)

Ahh, yes we moved back last year (were living on the shore) Been in Ellerslie since April. Would absoulutly love to catch up whenever suits you :-) (hehe I remember that, it was at St Lukes)

Yes we had our 'BABY lists of what to buy. How many stretch-n-grows etc.

Ohhhh, thanks. Yeah - November IS NOT THAT FAR AWAY! I am feeling very emotional at the moment cause she was conceived on the 7th July and it was around this week that I found out I was pregnant and all those emotions seem to be coming back. I feel so stupid to have it all going thru my head, but I can't stop it.

Deedz

Families! I do not mention Angela with the family. Just not worth going there. Like you said, we have to accept that. Her brothers, mother and father keep her memory alive amongst us.
In fact, I have purposly "ignored" my family this year, cause I just cannot "do it". Just cannot do the family thing, hear all about their crap, etc.

Ahh, thats enough out of me....

DENZ I know how you feel re all the reminders. I remember when we conceived Maia, he day we did several HPTs, getting a bump, feeling her kick, setting up her room, giving birth, holding her for the 1st time, bringing her home so on and so on. I even remember the exact time I was induced, the nurses names what time we arrived at the hospital and were told the shocking news. Its all so vivid in my memory like it was yesterday-not 6 years ago.
I DONT want to ever forget these memories even though they fill up that small cup of water in my heart and make me cry. Its all we have left of her-the memories.
They are so precious.

Its a shame that family are missing out on sharing the memories with you. Little Angela is in a very safe place with Maia and all the other beautiful angels. She didnt suffer. Its the ones that are left behind that do all the suffering.

Hope you dont mind me asking but was your story in the Baby Gone Book? Ours was. I read it only when I can. Its too sad for me to read too much at one time.
Thinking of you.
XXx

You have such a lovely way with words...

No my story is not in Baby Gone. But it is on the myangel website if you want a read. I have read some storys... what is the title of yours (if you do not mind)? I find some really hard to read and some I can read ok. I think the miscarriage ones I can read easier than the late or infant loss ones. Not sure why, maybe cause I feel closer and can relate to the later ones so it pulls my heart strings more. Oh, and infertility with miscarriage/loss gets me too. It must be so hard and heartbreaking...

Better go get the kids off to school and ready for work. Have a good day Trudes.

Hi DENZ Our story is on page 176. Its called Silent Sorrow.
Actually my wonderful DH wrote every word. I commend him on doing an amazing job and to have the strength to do so

Will have to have a read tonite... thanks

TRUDES I always need tissues close by when I read the sad stories!

Trudes, I read your story last night. You DH sounds incredible to put his feelings down like that... most men are not so open! I loved the bit about (and I do not remember the exact quote) God has a plan for us all. I totally agree with that. God cooks in funny pots and we are not always sure why but we have to accept that he knows best. I have the same thought about TTC... we did not plan Angela AT ALL and if it happens again, it happens. If not, it is all part of his plan. I will question to the day I meet him "why" - but one day this will be answered.... when I have my daughter back in my arms. Your DH has hit the nail on the head with so many issues...

I cannot comprehend how you must feel, with getting so close to having your daughter, having her taken away from you, and then having trouble conceiving since. I know i would be a total mess if it was me, and I admire your strength and how you two have such faith, a strong bond and love for each other.

Thank DENZ Ive sent you a PM.

I agree Denz...often leaves me at a loss for words for you Trudes ... it's a HUGE thing to loose a much loved child...and then to face issues TTC ASWELL!!

I often feel as though I have nothing to be complaining about when I have been SO blessed...

I need to buy that book, but have been avoiding it...as I know it will be quite emotional reading the stories!

Hi DEEDZ how are you? It makes me smile knowing our little girls are all happy together! (dancing with flowers in their hair!) Rosa, Angela and Maia XXX

The book is for sale on TM. The author is selling them freepost. I know they were selling fast in bookshops.

Yes its definetly a slow read for me-1 or 2 stories at a time and a large box of tissues!

Oh my gosh the suns out again-hpefully for 5 mins longer than the last time

Gee cannot believe how many are selling on TM!
They seem cheap but add postage.

Buy off My Angel!!! Same price as Jenny's RRP ($29.99) and also postage included!!! Please... support My Angel!

DENZ didnt know they were selling on My Angel!

We got one from the author as our story was published but gave that copy away to a friend whos been TTC for 5 years.

Weve since brought another copy but plan to give that away for friends we know who are struggling with TTc or Loss of a child.

Will buy our next one from My Angel! :-)

Thats cool Trudes. Yes I am selling on behalf of Jenny... all good when we stick together and help people out. Same with Baby Sam... that was written by a local Sands member. I sell it for no profit, just want to help people out. We need to stick together in this club

Youre so right! It is an exclusive Club-but one we all wish we werent a part of.

Makes you wanna scream at people sometimes, doesn't it?

Oh I love the Baby Sam book!! I got a chance to read it at the Sands Training in Welly last year.
I got a copy of the Baby Gone book but I haven't really read much in it yet. I'll go read on page 176.

My mum is the only one in my family to acknowledge Chloe, apart from DX and DD. My friends all know about her and know her angelversary is coming. It's a date I'm both dreading and looking forward to. 5 years this year...

DS asked about the plaque on the mantelpiece for the first time every (he's nearly 4) 2 months ago. I told him about his big sister who died and he was very curious. DD was 2 1/2 when we lost Chloe and I'm not sure what she actually remembers but she likes to talk about her to any and sundry.

Sands Wanganui is running a Grief and Loss Workshop for Kids and DD is soooo excited to be going to it.