do you or would you expect to do anything for a nearly 7yr old in the mornings?
I seem to be constantly micro managing his mornings..to the point where im still helping him get dressed most of the time I have tryd not helping and just having everything all set up to get ready..like clothes out, lunchbox on bench 'ready' to be put in bag, shoes where they can be found toothpaste on brush and ready to be used etc etc.....but he ends up just sitting down in a sulk over something...this morning was having trouble getting his socks on..the one thing i left him to do and he sat for about 15mins in a sulk about his sock not going on right.
meanwhile my 4yr old is almost too independant gets up goes toilet gets himself dressed and THEN comes out so almost all ready in the space of 5mins ...DS is struggling after an hour just to be dressed and toileted if left to his own devices whats normal for that age? he knows if he gets ready then he has time to play but he is almost NEVER ready with enough time left to play.

Our girls get up, get dressed, have breakfast, brush hair and teeth and then are ready to go after putting lunchboxes and homework in their bags all within the hour.

What helped us was a chart telling them what to do, and when they have done it I give them points for it. At the end of the day if they have enough points they get treats. And i wouldn't hesitate to take them to school in an undressed state if they do muck about but the threat of missing the school bus seems to work well.

DS turned 7 last week. He gets himself out of bed, gets his breakfast and lunch, and gets dressed. Sometimes I might do some things for him, if I am feeling charitable and often I have to hurry him along, but he is capable of doing it himself.

I have also started expecting him to help out with chores around the house as well. At his age we were doing dishes etc, so I am tying to encourage the idea that he is part of keeping our household running smoothly. (esp with DP being away).

We've had this issue with DS (nearly 5). I've set up a chart with all the morning jobs he has to do (brush teeth, put PJs under pillow, get dressed etc etc) and after he has done each one he puts a tick beside it. When he has done all his jobs he gets to put a stamp on his chart. When he has got 10 stamps he gets a treat. He really loves it and so far it's going well.

my brother lived alone with my dad, and by 7 my brother was cooking their dinners and mowing the lawn. mind you, i think they lived on canned spagetti pizzas, and my bro did cut the end of his big toe off while mowing the lawn.

My DS1 is fab at getting himself ready (even makes his own lunch) and DS2 needs to be nagged to death. I reckon some kids are naturally more motivated than others. I'd go the route of the chart.

Maybe sit him down and ask him what he thinks are fair enough jobs to be doing?
What do his friends do around there house?
If he is into sport, maybe you the story of a soccer team and how you can play a game of soccer by your self, you need everyone to do there part for the whole team to win.
That a sport team is like a family and the game is all the jobs that it takes to run a household, and how you can't do it all on your own and that you need his help, to help the family team to get everything done.

Or maybe is there something that he likes to do with you?
Maybe say to him that you would have more time to do that activity or game with him, if you didn't have to do everything.
So maybe if he helped by doing his jobs you would have more time to do that special activity with him.

Just some suggestions.
I have a 5yr old and she is expected to make her bed, brush her teeth and get dressed. I do help with getting dressed and I do do her lunch. But she will help with setting the table for dinner at night and since watching us and her big sister (10yr)un load the dishwasher,wants to help out.
But in saying that, the 10yr old will not do anything us less asked. But her room is always tidy and she dresses and does other things for herself.

Every child is different and I guess it is a matter of finding the currency that works with that child,if you know what I mean.

yes i do think he should be totally independant in dressing and getting ready for school including getting his own cereal etc

when we had trouble with mornings I reminded them they needed to get totally ready by 8:30am and that i would tell them when it was 10 mins before we had to leave and i would put the timer on. When the timer went off we walked out the door no matter what state they were in.

During that first week i had one of them running to the car naked carrying all their clothes, they got dressed on the footpath at school. the next week i had the other one running barefoot carrying all his stuff from his school bag. After that i didn't really have too much trouble as long as i remembered to remind them they had 10 mins till we left.

My 7 yr old is sooooo SLOW ... and is easily side tracked ... Our morning normally goes

"Cooper can you get dressed please " ..... cue sit and ignore mum
"Cooper go get dressed please" ... cue sit on brother
"COOPER ..." ... cue go to his room ...
15 min later - walk to room and find half naked child reading on his bed
"COOPER I SAID GET DRESSED" - cue jump up and start while mums looking
walk back up hallway - find Cooper fluffing with something, anything
"COOPER IF YOU DONT GET DRESSED ILL ... ILL ... JUST GET DRESSED WILL YOU !!!!"



Sayla - almost 4 on the other hand - is dressed before anyone ... and Kal you only have to ask once ...

I have threatened to take them to the principle to explain why we are late ... and it seems to get them moving ... but I just *couldnt* take them to school underdressed ... a/ I dont think humiliation is nice for anyone and b/ I worry about them getting cold/sick

I do think that some kids are just plain needier than others. So I reckon it comes down to deciding:

is he playing you - doing the 'if I do a crap job the first time then she will do it the rest of the time' thing

or

is he genuinely one of those kids that is less indeppendent and needs more help with stuff.

Only you can tell, lol!

sounds like EVERY MORNING at our house as well

i get my 7 year olds clothes ready and tell him what to put on. otherwise we would still be there at 10am with him deciding/getting distracted. it isup to him to pit everything on in a timely manner; if he gets ready quickly he can watch tv/read/whatever, if he doesn't then i will take him to school in whatever state of undress he is in (i would let him get dressed in the car but HE doesn't know that ).

we are working up independence but i think some kids take longer than others and it is heas less stress to do the independence thing in... the weekends or something (ie: clean your own room, here, do this job for me all by yourself) than in the mornings when we're so pressed for time everyone gets stressed and yelly.

yep that is us here too for DS, and even last night for the shower
But my girls are total opposites, DD1 is 8yrs & can do everything for herself & bless her heart sometimes gets everyone elses breakfast too! DD2 is the same & I cringe at what she wears out the door sometimes but she is only 2 1/2 & as long as she is dressed I don't really care!
So I think all kids are different, some are just easily distracted

I kind of bit the bullet a bit earlier and did this at about 4 years old because I thought DS was taking the p!ss. He had plenty of time to get dressed (which I did not micro-manage) his clothes were out and he had to put them on. He didn't, so we arrived at Kindy with him in his pjs. A frantic in car change which miraculously took less than a minute!! and then he was ready for Kindy and it never happened again.

My 6 and 5 year olds get up, microwaves themself a warm milk, empty the safe bits of the dishwasher, my 6 year old gets his own cereal, my 5 yo doesn't. After breakfast each packs his school bag with lunch and homework books and gets himself dressed in school uniform. With 5 mins to go until we need to leave I tell them to get their shoes and socks on. They get themselves into the car with their bag and do their own seatbelts.

JMO but a 7 yo is perfectly capable of everything you are asking but chooses not to do it because its a way of getting attention. Up to you how you take it on, the 'humiliation' of arriving at school and getting dressed in the car is private but threatening enough that they get a serious message. That said, if mine didn't get dressed damn quick in the car, they would have spent the day at kindy in PJs.

I would also certainly follow through if I threatened that they were going to have to explain we were late because they had mucked around. I would be quite happy to make the 'mucker' go to his teacher and his brother's teacher and apologise for us being late that day, no big deal about the specifics of why, just an apology for him making us late.

I agree totally, as i said it only took once for my kids to be brought to school with basically no clothes on and a very fast change in the car/ on the footpath and it hasn't happened again.

Hi
My kids have 30 mins from the time they wake up, till they need to be in the car. For that reason I have their school uniforms on the couch ready for them in the mornings. school bags are packed the night before, excpet for lunches. absolutley no homework done in the morning, if they havent done it, tough.

So yeah, toilet themselves (always together ) get themselves dressed (occasionally I will sit down & give them a one time offer only to assist with dressing which takes less than 20 seconds). No tv till dressed. I have breakfast laid out & they eat that, then brush teeth and hair and wash their faces. They take turns unlocking the car & I expect them to be seatbelted by the time I get to the car.
Some days they need constant queing and other days simple. They are capable of getting breakfast alone, but are very slow at making choices so I just give weetbix every morning to keep it simple.

I have taken the kids (well, just one particular kid) to school twice not dressed.
They totally know they will go and see the principal if they are late for school (which I would SO do ) and the kids are terrified of him so no problems most days.

I think going to school part naked is fine, its just a natural consequence of not being reading in the morning. Its not as if getting dressed is a surprise, its pretty clear the kids have to do it. we say it enough times

I took DS2 to creche once in pyjamas, because he refused to cooperate (he was 3, so it was that he wouldn't let anyone help). Then the teachers said all the other parents complained that their kids wanted to go to creche in pyjamas all week too.

I'm guessing its more effective once they go to school.

Arete!!

Our Mr Nearly 7 is pretty good at getting organised, if he isn't distracted by the TV...which goes off it becomes apparent anyone is.

The big boys wear their next days clothes to bed. No pjs for them, and if it really came down to it, DS could just roll out of bed and go to school.

The only thing we do for him is make toast, just because the toaster is up high and he can't reach it.

Same here with both my oldest. Have been doing it with them since they started school, they are now 7 & 10yrs. We use a whiteboard in the kitchen so everyone can see where they are at.

Our reward system is that if they get ready by 8am (ie. all things checked off on the board) they earn 30min to use after school on Friday on the computer or PS2. Every 5 min they are late for that deadline they lose 5min of the reward ie. 15 min late gets only 15min computer time on the board. And if they are ready by 8.30am or later they get no reward.

They save their minutes and use them on a friday and in a really good week can carry some minutes over to use on the weekend.

Works very well!

THe other thing that I find very important is that we never have the TV on in the morning. Even if they watch it after they are ready then there are problems when it comes time to turn it off. Have been doing this for a few years now so none of them miss it anymore.

Yeah, hadn't really thought about it as an issue but the TV is never on in our house in the morning either. I know my two would be incapable of getting out of their pjs if there was the idiot box on in the corner.

I like the minutes towards computer time idea, will borrow that one for other issues.