With 3 boys this is a bigger issue round here!
I have always said we would not buy guns/weapons. If they want them then they can at least have a creative element of making them first.

And over the 12 years the only exceptions which have emerged from that blanket rule are water guns for summer where all the boys and DH run around after having played soccer or whatever together and I get a good 30 mins of total peace! And Nicholas has a couple of light sabers.

The water guns are very clearly water guns and there are absolutely no life like replica guns round here.

They will make them from sticks, lego etc and they often play 'Spy' games where they are trying to get round the house without being spotted by each other or an adult. You say their name, they are frozen for the count of 30 and then they go off again. So a lot of these 'hunting/chasing' skills can be developed in other games too.

But yes, they enact bits from Star Wars (N's big thing) or Dr Who (the old ones - W's big thing) and a 5 yr old Thomas can do a wonderful Cyberman or dalek...

My kids go to a rural preschool, and they have a perspective on it I like. Because some of the kids are exposed to Dads hunting. Many will have seen a possum being shot etc. And given the play is supposed to be child led. They allow the children to play shooty games with stickes or hands etc. but they have imaginary gun licences. If they break the rules (which are the same rules Daddy hs to follow - ie. you have to be safe, and you're not allowed to shoot at other people) they have their gun licence suspended and have a stand down from the gun/sword play. The play stays child led, but the grown-ups who are supposed to know better put in place guidelines to keep everyone safe and socially responsible LOL.

Wow Country Mum that's a really interesting approach the preschool takes. I don't want a playstation either, I think they suck your time and I know too many men playing on them until 3 or 4 in the morning then going to work. Craziness.

I started off the boy journey being fiercely adament Id have a polite anti-violence angelic wee child...which ofcourse involved being staunchly against guns/swords/weaponry..... i cant but laugh at myself really.
we had no guns, no nothing, no tv programs with it on infact DS didnt even watch tv when he started it...then one day he ran into the room threw teddies under the couches and yelled "RUN>>>>BOMB" I was oh so mortified...but hey actually its incredibly normal, they're so so so into it now at 6yrs and 4yrs that i give up trying to keep peaceful...my only rule is if you get hurt playing fighting games dont expect cuddles. we still dont have guns or anything buut they make do with absolutely whatever they can get their hands on toothbrushes, sticks, teddy bears, fingers etc etc at xmas they both got a lightsaber so they lightsaber each others light sabers and often chase around the 'invisible pretend' baddie now..and thats great I no longer have any issues with it, its very very rare for them to actually hurt each other with them tho they definately do pretend 'die' each other ...usually little brother dies and generally involves big brother yelling out i got you you die to which he falls on the ground dead for 2 secs b4 getting up for another round.

I read something a few years ago about how actually we should harbour this boyish play as its a normal human response for the male to be a protector and defender...and if you dont harbour it in childhood, one day(bcos unfortunately we have no idea what the future holds) when they might need that inner instinct its lost. -wasnt a go out and buy weapons for your children sort of thing...just dont turn it into all nicey nicey play they're boys that HAVE to grow up and be men, and some of that involves needing some of their natural instinct.
which i kind of agree with in part, definately helps to keep it in mind anyway.

at the momment DS#1 has just started karate to focus some of this instinct, as yes, the force is strong with him lol....i cant believe how focused and concentrated he is at karate, tooootally his thing (and there i was thinking he was too young for it) If id told myself he'd do this in 3years...3years ago i would've thought i was insane haha..condone physical fighting..but actually i guess its more about defense..and they do teach good principals -practice, focus, respect and only using it when you HAVE to and in the dojo etc etc

CM oh i love the idea, how neat to have such an open minded pre school. tho how do you play goodies and baddies or cops and robbers etc if you cant pew pew them?
just thinking here bcos i know my boys role play quite a bit sometimes

Interesting.........

My thoughts to date have always been along the line that I don't agree with them role playing violence. I know boys have this testosterone thing going on but my theory has always been that there are better ways to channel this energy like into sport rather than guns.

Having said that, DS is just 2yo so just starting on this journey but he has two sisters so it will be interesting to see how he develops considering the amount of girl toys in the house. DH (and I agree)is adamant that no-one buy DS guns to play with so I guess we have time ahead to see what eventuates - I will probably end up like Cadiam looking back and laughing at myself

I did an awful lot of cops and robbers stuff as a kid, and I wasn't ever a boy, even.
I remember making my own bow and arrows, and one of my friends' fathers made us wooden guns and we crept around the neighbourhood pretending to shoot people with them.
It hasn't turned me into a mass murderer yet.

Personally, I'm not so bothered with kids playing at this sort of thing as long as they are still treating each other well. A make-believe enemy that you are trying to defeat because you cannot allow evil to prevail - nothing wrong with that. Even if said enemy is being hacked to death with a sword.

But I have seen groups of girls sitting round quietly and systematically being right cows to one another. Sometimes it is downright nasty, but no-one seems interested in doing anything about it because they are seen as "playing nicely" (because they're not hitting each other, or even pretending to).

Nasty behaviour I dislike intently, a bit of good wholesome violence is fine.

This made me LOL. But I agree, girls can be right beyotches to each other and that's much nastier than a bit of shooting.

We started off banning guns because I was uber naieve and PC. I soon realised the futility of it. It's ludicrous banning kids from pointing finger guns at each other, and impossible to police. And it made J totally gun obsessed, when we went to other kids houses who had them it was all he wanted to do. When we came to our senses and allowed them in our home the interest waned.

Girls will be girls and boys will be boys. Like it or not, that's life.

Sorry for such a profound statement at this time of night LOL

Both my boys haven't really got into the shooting thing... Yet... Perhaps J does at school and I know it's a typical and normal part of childhood and all, I just won't ever be buying guns for them to play with. Water guns are fine but guns that look like guns - nope!

They can make guns out of sticks and "peow peow" to their heart's content but we have a no gun policy in the house due to DH's beloved uncle being shot by his own BIL in a hunting accident ie: grown men playing silly buggers.

Nicky hasn't got into the shooting thing yet either, except he does like water guns! Not for the shooting/killing perspective, but he likes to squirt things. He doesn't do the peow peow thing, I don't think he knows what a gun is yet.

I'm ok with him having a toy gun if he wants one. I don't think it will turn him into a killer.

Cam had toy guns and he is a kind caring teenager. No interest in going out and actually shooting someone.

I don't/won't buy my boys guns. Not at this age anyway. They do have small hand sized water pistols though (given to them as presents).

DS1 is really into guns at the moment though. I have never even talked to him about guns and suddenly he was making guns and pistols and tanks with big shooty things. He picked it up from the bigger boys at creche. They are all into making them. Amazing how quickly kids catch on.

I'm not "anti" them (toy guns) but I'm not going to rush out and buy a massive machine gun or anything. LOL He can 'make' his own out of Lego etc.

DS has guns - and I don't mind buying him guns - I don't buy him swords (unless made out fo something soft) as they can be a hazard to himself and others. As others have said DS will make a gun out fo anything - sometimes he uses his toy guns and other times not. Its often his friends who come to play who are not allowed guns at home that really gravitate towards them more.

we don't have guns; i mean, i guess we might have some water pistols somewhere but that is about it. guns in general make me uncomfortable, but, you know, not to the point where i would outright ban them, just that i am not interested in buying them, and at this point they are not interested in having them, so, i dunno, it all seems to come together nicely.

i always thought i would be one of those parents who didn't let their kids have guns but, oh, i dunno, these days i am just so stoked to get five minutes to have a cuppa while they run around like mad things, i let them do HEAPS of things that i said i would never do

my line in the sand is that you are not allowed to beat the crap out of any other person.
and, you can have/make/pretend guns but you are not allowed to shoot 'at' someone. because guns should never ever be pointed at anyone else ever.

everything else depends on how i feel at any given time and how i perceive a situation to be developing and whether or not i think it will be okay or whether it is one light saber poke away from someone losing an eye.

i remember having these AK47 water pistols when my brother and i were kids and they made sounds and everything and we used to play dentist with them

i do think we squash boys a bit too much these days. no running! no shouting! (okay i am guilty of that one too but in my defense it is OMG CONSTANT) no rough play! no mud! no tree climbing you might fall out and break every bone in your body! etc etc.

because we have real guns in our house I will never let my son have a look alike gun (DH is anal about saftey with guns, so is already teaching DS to be careful with them). if its a water pistol thats all colourful and looks nothing like a real one I let him play with it. I was amazed and shocked a couple of weeks ago when he was running around going peow peow and he isn't even 2 yet can only think he must have picked it up at day care

i don't mind toy guns and in fact every single day we are the home base for the neighborhood NERF wars

I was thinking about this some more, and how about this:

Play-acting is a way of working out what happens in various scenarios. So, what you do when you're cooking dinner, what you do when you put your soft toy to bed, and so forth. Shooting people and sword-fighting etc are another sort of play-acting. So when they do it, children are working out what happens when. So maybe the awareness that when you shoot someone they die (even when play-acting) is an important part of working out the what-ifs of certain types of situation.

Working out the consequences of various types of action isn't always seen as negative. Suppose a child wrote a story about someone being in an adventure, and getting killed, and wrote about what sort of emotions were involved, and what various people did as a result. That doesn't seem to me to be unhealthy, that is a legitimate way of thinking out the what-ifs of various scenrios - a sort of practice for life.

I guess I see "violent" play-acting as just a more physical way of writing a story about what would happen in various scenarios, and what you would do/feel. And if you think of it that way, it's not violent at all. No-one is actually getting hurt.

I think a boy hitting another boy with a stick, and enjoying causing him pain, is violent, and something to be very worried about. I think two boys in a game where the object is clearly to hit the other boy's stick is healthy fun, and not violent at all.

There was an article somewhere on how children explore concepts to do with death,similar to what you're describing arete - will see if I can find it ...

here's a synopsis:
http://www.auckland.ac.nz/uoa/home/about....jsp?cid=198617

Not really what you were saying arete but it has a similar theme.