There used to be a pregnant after loss chit-chat thread on the pregnancy forum. It was great to get through pregnancy with others who were going through it at the same time, as we found we often had the same concerns, and could vent to others who understood the every day ups and downs.

So.......here is the thread resurrected. (And no, I am not pregnant).

ha ha, thanks for that nimbus ... i don't know if i'd call myself ridiculously paranoid, but i sure do have some bad days, and some anxious weeks.

any plans for more babbits for you nimbus?

Thanks for restarting this nimbus.

I'm pretty paranoid - 19 weeks and still can't feel any movement I'm just so thankful for the weekly scans or I'd truly despair.

It seems like everyone else feels something at 16 weeks.

Trying to stay positive.......

Hi Libra. I didn't feel anything until 19 weeks. You'll feel it soon enough.

Ladies. Just lurking on the boards.

Just wanted to say that I never felt anything until 20-22wks gestation Libra. Try not to worry too much, but I know how you are feeling as it seemed everybody felt their babies alot sooner than mine too!

I also used an Angelsounds fetal doppler throughout which really helped my anxiety. Some find them helpful, others stressful due to not being able to find the heartbeat easily. My little one was often in the same position so I got it most times

And to anybody else who remembers me from TTC boards or this thread (didn't post much) we had our little girl Sophie Nicole Tori, on 4th August. She is a gem and very placid considering the stress of subsequent pregnancy after loss

Anyway, just wanted to say that if I can help or offer support to anybody through this tough journey, please do not hesitate to post or PM me.

Take Care

That's wonderful news Satori's Mummy I love a happy ending!

Thanks Starfish for the encouragement too.

Beckydubs - I am not sure yet. There are so many things "against" trying again. But I am still not sure LOL. I kind of have TTC this month, for reasons that you will all think is totally weird. If I conceived this month, there would be 20 months between DS2 and that one. There is also 20 months between DS1 and DS2. My Angels' EDDs were Dec, Aug and Mar. DS1 is March, DS2 was due Dec (born a month early in Nov). If I fell preggy this month, the EDD would be Aug. Crazy I know.

Libra - it's totally normal to not feel movement! A LOT of people don't feel it until around 22/23 weeks. I know how hard it is waiting for that wee flutter though!

Nimbus - That is totally not crazy! Or else I was TTC for sooooooo long that I'm crazy too

I am going through a really weird patch right now with the whole "oh my god we are actually going to have a baby this time" It's not a freak out but after so many losses it hard to get my head around that this one will actually be in my arms next year.

Ok so that sounds like I've completely lost the plot... don't mind me

I still have that thought sometimes, although now that we have the whole room ready it's a bit more real. Even now I still think that I hope buying all tha stuff wasn't a wase of money.

We didn't buy anything until after the anatomy scan (might have bought one thing at 12 weeks I can't remember). Then I had that feeling that you describe - "holy crap, we might actually end up with a baby," so no, you haven't lost the plot!

Nimbus - I totally get your rationale!

Libra - have they said where your placenta is? If it is on the front you might not feel as much.

I think they said my placenta is at the front. The Doc also said that unless the baby kicked hard against my uterus? I probably wouldn't feel anything. I'm so impatient

Oh that'll be why then! Mine's on the back and I don't feel anything 'in the back' KWIM? Also don't feel anything down low either.

libra, i've also got an anterior placenta this time round, and i had one day when i thought wow it's all on, cause i felt bubs move about half a dozen times or more across the day. but it must have been the position baby was in, cause then i felt nothing for a week! talk about freak me out.

anyway, i went to the MW this morning and heard a lovely strong heart beat

Woohoo for a heartbeat! Such a lovely reassuring sound isn't it! Ooooo makes me want to hear one.

TA - totally understand the "OMG we might have a baby" thing. My emotions swung around all the time - between fear of losing the baby, excitement that in my heart I believed it would happen this time, back to but what if it doesn't. It did my head in LOL. But for some reason with both of them I felt a bit happier at various milestones - 12 weeks, 20 weeks, 24 weeks (able to survive if born, even though unlikely), 32 weeks (don't know why LOL).

I had an anterior placenta first time, and posterior second time. First time I was very unusual for a "first timer" (well first time past 12 weeks) in that I felt regular movement from 16 weeks. Usually it averages around 22 weeks. Then DS2 was posterior, and I didn't feel him until 18 weeks (although I swore I did at 14 weeks a couple of times).

Well, I should really stop rabbiting on and posting here when I don't belong.

ah, nimbus, it's nice to hear from you even if you're not preg! and who knows, maybe knocking round here will make you clucky ...? and yup, it was LOVELY to hear the hearbeat. the MW was really happy, saying how lovely and strong it was, and also happy with how the baby responded and kept moving away from her

i also don't think your time-between-babies thinking is strange. i think it's really important - i have had all sorts of loss issues about that ... i was really happy with the age difference between M and J. but it wasn't to be

my last pregnancy i miscarried at 11 weeks, i thought with this pregnancy i would feel so much better and the stress and worry would go away at 12 weeks as i'll be past that 'magic' point everyone talks about as well as being past the point i miscarried, but for some reason the panic has only just started. I woke up on saturday night with swallon hands which were gone again in the morning then on sunday morning i had a long relaxing bath which was lovely but when i stood upa lot of watery stuff came out of me, could be bath water? could be something else? there was a lot and it soaked up most of a towel. Then last night before i went to bed there was a huge lumpy snotty discharge that came out when i went to the toilet... all stuff which could be normal, could be explained but i can't help reliving my memeories of the miscarriage. When it happened i stood up, felt a pop and my waters where broken and blood was everywhere, now i'm even a little scared of standing up in case it happens again. It's not a normal fear but i can't stop thinking it. I'm also too scared to have a 12 week scan, i was going to skip it anyway but have a referral just in case but now i'm scared that if i have a scan i'll be told the baby is dead, if i don't have the scan then at least i can believe it's alive.
I'm meeting a new midwife this morning and hopefully i get along with her and sign up today so will let all my fears out when i meet her and hopefully get some reasurrance.

Nimbus - Please stick around. We need someone whose been "out the other side" to knock us back into line. Otherwise if we dont have that reassurance we might send each other completely batty!

Becky - Yay for hearing the hearbeat. It is the BEST sound ever

Julie - Oh hun that must have been so scary. Glad you are seeing your Midwife. Anything that happens thats in any way similar to a previous loss is so hard to deal with. It is a completly normal fear to have after what youv'e been though. Please let us know how you got after you see your midwife.

I've just been to see my Obstetrician. I have a history of kidney problems (genetic) and they have decided because of the high risk of pre-term labor if I get a kidney infection while pregnant that I have to go on antibiotics for the entire pregnancy! Also have to have more kidney function tests very soon and regularly throughout the rest of pregnancy. We were also told that theres a 25% risk of bubs inheriting the kidney probelms I have
Also I'm at high risk for pre-eclampsia because of a number of factors and my blood pressure today was a bit high already. My OB is already already discussing the likelihood extra scans throughout and bed rest in the last trimester and early induction
Dont get me wrong I'm so impressed with the level of care I'm getting I just want something to GO RIGHT regards to this pregnancy so I can stop worrying so much but everything just keeps piling on top of each other

Hi everyone reading your stories wow this is what Im going through at the moment. We lost our 2nd baby in August after trying for two long years and then our baby was taken from us at 6 weeks.
We got the news 3 weeks ago that Im pregnant again very hard, is this going to be the one? I have had 3 blood test the levels a good but Im not getting to excited I was feeling sore in the weekend and then the tears.

Well things went well with my midwife appointment, pretty much got all my concerns out as soon as she walked through the door. Everything can be explained away (well not the swelling but my BP is fine) and it seems it's just bad luck that it all happened one after another which got me worked up.

TA - remember there is 75% chance that your child will NOT inherit the kidney probelms you have, that's a much better figure to remember.

I also have some kidney issues, well i have a genetic issue but zero symptons, only know about it becuase it was picked up on a scan when i was going thru the fertility clinic 5 years ago, but i do have family with kidney problems and a issue with DS kidneys was picked up on a scan when i was 20 weeks pregnant, we choose not to have it investigated when he was born as he's also had zero symptons and i rather no put a child thru testing if you don't have to. But if he ever did have any symptoms we would get him tested right away.

I'm actually trying to have a less medical approach to this pregnacy, as DS's conception, pregnancy and birth (cS) was very very medical, i'm trying to do the opposite this time, I've had two blood tests early on, and a scan which i saw the heart beat and one quick scan at 8 weeks after a very small bleed. I'm skipping the 12 week scan as the results don't really make any difference to us. did do the doppler last midwife visit without any luck, and this visit she didn't even bring it so removed that temptation. I will do the 20 week scan and if all goes to plan a homebirth. I don't know if this approach will make me stress more as i don't get all the reasurrance that hearing the heart beat or seeing the bubba on the screen will give but i also don't get any stress when they can't find the heart beat and the dread of what if the scan shows that something isn't right?

Julie

I know what you're going through - so sad that it ruins the experience of being pregnant. Really hope everything goes well for you.

Hi Liz and Trying Again

Congrats both of you on your pregnancies - hope everything goes well for you.