I've done a little bit of reading about ADHD but I am keen to hear real parents experiences rather than bullet points on medical websites.

Basically my story is that I have an extremely bright 6 year old DD and I find her (and have always found her) extremely challenging to parent. She went to see a child psychologist at 4 years and was identified as gifted and we worked on some sensory sensitivity issues and anxiety she was having. The psychologist ruled out Aspergers at that appointment as well. DD talks a million miles a minute and is very loud. She interrupts people constantly and it's become a bit of an issue at school. I feel like I'm telling her off all the time. I notice other kids her age that wait nicely with their mums and mine is always running off screaming and yelling and refusing to come back when I call her. Today I was trying to use a photo machine and she was impossible - touching all the buttons, picking up stuff from the shelves, asking me to buy everything.. aaargh.

The thing is, she can concentrate for long periods and does have calm moments when watching tv or the like. She has lots of friends and interacts well with her peers. She's certainly not climbing the walls or anything.

I dont know whether I have a super bright and strong willed kid or if there is an issue here that we should be looking at.

I would love your comments. Thanks

Hi Pudding - I've a bright ADHD boy!
N can concentrate well on something he's especially interested in - the computer, Connex etc.

N used to have plenty of friends until, as he got older, his loudness, interrupting and lack of focus caused social issues too - probably around 7 yrs old or so.
So having friends and being able to 'hyperfocus' doesn't rule out ADHD.

There's a thread below - Attention and Impulsivity Support - so check that out and see if some of those descriptions fit.
Girls can present differently to boys and not do so much of the physical 'wall climbing' - but some do. Of course there is the possibility of ADD which is ADHD without the hyperactivity - so impulse control issues, lack of focus but not the hyperactive crazy stuff.

HTH!

i think the biggest thing that i've learned about ADHD is its sort of a spectrum, like aspergers, but people don't really realise that. in fact, most people seem to think that all adhd kids are naughty little monsters who destroy everything and burn buildings down and the amount of times i have heard someone go 'oh no, he can't have adhd, he can concentrate on xxx thing'... aahhrgh!

M likes to watch tv and movies, he likes to play on the computer, he can read for hours at a time, he can sit in one place and make up an imaginitive game with lego or something and play it for ages. what he can't do is walk six feet from me to his bedroom to get dressed without getting distracted by something on the way. or put on all his clothes without getting distracted by something when he's half dressed (and a quarter dressed. and three quarters dressed and... you get the picture). he can't clean his room without getting distracted. so people go 'oh he can concentrate WHEN HE WANTS TO!' with the implication that he is either being contrary or lazy in not concentrating when he finds things boring - but, i dunno, regular people have o trouble concentrating on tasks they enjoy, but find it difficult to concentrate on thigns they would rather not do BUT, they do it anyway, because they know they have to do things they would rather not, sometimes. with M... well. i am still working on that concept, with him

Oh Teacup you forgot the inability to pee in a straight line and get it in the loo without landing on the floor because...oh look, something else interesting might be happening a million miles away, better look!

that is my son EXACTLY!!

he's awaiting an appt at marinoto north (child mental health), will be interesting what they have to say.

sorry to threadjack pudd

oh yeah, be glad you have a girl, pud i am forever mopping our loo because M got distracted by something and had to find out about it RIGHT THEN AND THERE.

M's problem this year is less about hyperactivity (like it was last year, tho he still struggles to sit still when he isn't engaged in whatever he's supposed to be doing) and more about inattention/failure to concentrate on anything.

i think the most disappointing thing i have found is peoples perception. my mum keeps harping on about how he has to 'settle down' and 'learn some skills' because 'at the end of the day he needs to be employable' like he is in danger of being some useless layabout if i don't constantly badger him about everything (FWIW he also works in the range they classify as gifted and i don't think he is in any danger of not being employable, also, FFS HE IS ONLY JUST SEVEN GET OFF HIS CASE). i did medicate him for a bit last term but then i stopped without telling anyone, and, seriously, everyone i talked to RAVED about his good behaviour, how much he had changed, what a pleasure it was to work with him, etc etc... gave examples from that day about how much easier he was being.... when he hadn't had anything for two weeks. so it wasn't the meds making a difference (tho i don't doubt they did make a small difference, but i had him on a pretty low dose), but their perception that he was medicated and that made him 'easier to handle'.... was interesting. and kind of disappointing?

oh, YM, i hope your appt goes well!

Mine too school are looking at refering him to a 'behaviour consultant!'

That is so interesting Teacup.

I have been around and around this ADHD thing and TBH it really does my head in where the line between where upper end of normal behaviour ends and ADHD begins. DS was diagnosed when he was 8yrs old (he is now 10yrs) but his environment at the time was difficult for him (new school) and his teacher was a non-coper with boys generally. I have since realised this about his teacher after talking to several other parents with boys that have been in this teachers class. We had an appot privately with a paed who had a half hour chat with DS and decided he was ADHD based on the him getting out of his chair once in that time (while the Dr was writing).

SO honestly I flip flop between thinking that he is at the upper end of the excitable/easily distracted but normal spectrum or mild ADHD.

(oops will start a new post cos this screen is doing stupid things)

HIstory - DH has a very active, very very functional family - but they are always on the go. DS is disorganised, messy (tho he gets that from me! So not sure how much of that is nature or never being taught ). He is easily distracted - ie. if the TV is on while unstacking the dishwasher I need to almost stand over him and point his face at the dishwasher). He can read for hours, and will not hear anything if he is (hyperfocussed). Often comes home without his jumper/shoes/homework etc. Forgets to give me notes from the teacher. Fine when he is on his own or with one other kid but in a crowd of children he becomes excitable and seeks attention.

He had a year on meds (Rubifen), and had a fantastic year - but also an amazingly awesome teacher who had such a lovely calm manner about him that I wished some would rub off on me

Last term of 2009 I dropped his meds down to very low to see if there would be any noises of complaint and there weren't. Still achieving.

SO this year I decided to stop meds. Teacher at the beginning of the year was supportive and was quite positive about being able to cope with him and that she thought he was not extreme enough to need medication.

However, now things are starting to deteriorate. Teacher is now taking things personally (DS is "disrespectful" when he wont stop reading his book at the end of silent reading to listen to teachers instructions - howver I know he puts his fingers in his ears when he reads so the noises of the class don't annoy him) and the teacher is becoming very fed up with his restlesness and silliness. She is also pregnant now which definitely wouldn't be helping her patience with him (I would hate to be a teacher and be pg with MS!!! Don't envy her at all.) But at the same time I feel quite sorry for him when they are expecting things of him that I know are a lot harder for him than other kids - like sitting still.

So now I don't know what to do - I don't really want to put him back on meds after so long off them. I know the problem will settle come summer time and he is worse in the winter (anyone else find this??).

The reason he went on meds in the first place was not because of academics (he is a very bright kid) but because socially he was being bullied and had no friends. This is not the case anymore, he has one really lovely best friend now and is quite happy socially.

My DS has never been referred to the RTLB (aka behavioural consultant) as his behaviour was never considered extreme enough.

I am struggling with how to decide if he needs meds or not or whether its me just trying to protect him from the inevitable downhill patches of normal childhood? So many kids are apparently medicated unnecessarily for this and I don't want my boy to be one of them, but there is no concrete way to decide if the issues are detrimental enough for meds. I don't want to kneejerk reach for the tablets every time I want to smooth out the bumps for him KWIM?

I also wonder too at the (not science just personal observation and experiences) correlation between very bright and gifted kids having this ADHD behaviour. If ADHD affects 10% or so of kids, and being bright/gifted affects around 5-10% - I wonder how many of the bright kids and gifted have ADHD - is it over-represented I wonder?

Wow, sorry for the massive post - I am really struggling at the moment!!!

I often wonder this point frequently

Anuket - I would be too scared to take my son off his medication and trial dose levels. DS6 was diagnosed in February with by a Behavioural Paediatrician in Brisbane and I finally decided to try meds in June when I felt his impulsiveness was interferring with his education and my sanity. After trialling dose levels I now have him on 10mg once daily and his teacher is extremely happy with him needing only that one dose. His meds (Ritalin) for the first time ever have assisted my son to receive "Student of the Month", responsibility awards, and his workload and handwriting have drastically improved! He actually looks forward to go to school and we are so much happier as a family!

DS6 problem was impulsiveness, irritating other kids and lack of concentration also. I am glad that we are doing something about it now, as he is an average achiever and I would hate him to slip behind.... (oh yeah, and I am a teacher)

well - update on my boy. The teacher and Ass. principals methods have resulted in a much happier teacher, more settled boy over the last month. He went from getting "unacceptable" on his daily reports to "great" - and even got a principals award for being helpful last week! And without meds. So I will leave him off for now, but the Dr. will reapply for the meds when the time is up in case we need them next winter.

Vickie - it sounds like your decision to medicate is a lot more clearcut than mine! I have no doubt that my boy benefited from being on the meds when younger.

I was only confident enough to try him off meds when he was off for the entire summer holidays at the beginning of this year and we had no issues with him at home at all. But my boy is a lot older than yours (he is 10.5yrs) and has outgrown a lot of the impulsiveness etc that he had at 7 & 8. It is still there - as there is much of it that will always be a part of his personality - but he is much more grownup now and his behaviour is (generally!) more settled than it was when he was diagnosed.

It really was so difficult for me in the last 6 wks to not just put him back on it for good, sometimes knowing when to do nothing is just as hard as knowing when to do something! I am pretty sure that I get SAD in the winter - and wonder if that either rubs off on him, or whether he gets it a little too. And I wonder too about exercise as the onset of improvement in the class seemed to coincide with the kids starting their cross country training three times a week (oh and his teacher entering the 2nd trimester of pg )

My gosh tho, my boy has attracted some super tolerant really lovely friends - they are the yin to his yang. Hope it continues! Has anybody else found their kids choices in friends (or the friends that choose them) are calming tolerant influences?

cripes, me too. i had my ds assessed at the start of the year (because the school wouldn't give him anything challenging to do and i knew he was bored stiff but they wouldn't listen to me) and i thought he was bright but not, you know, right at the top bright - but as i went through the checklist of behaviours that gifted/adhd kids display, he ticked every single one. on the checklist for gifted kids without adhd though, he checks like, three? and damned if he didn't come back way higher than i thought he would, too, so i definitely think theres something in that. AND, now he's being challenged more at school, he's calmer.

i dunno, he will never be SUPER calm but as long as he is doing well at school i am happy to leave him off medication and see if he... learns to deal with it? of course if i felt he wasn't doing as well as he could then i would try it, but i think he is okay at the moment. he has friends! after having NONE last year, and it is just... the best feeling, to watch him go off with someone. they are all lovely kids, too, which is even better.

i hear you about the seasonal thing, i often think that the adhd kids must cop it badly in the winter when everyone is all cooped up in a classroom because of rain or whatever and everyone is crazy, but the adhd ones are usually singled out as being 'disruptive', because thats the perception - when really they're probably not any worse than anyone else.

Yes - exactly! And don't forget that the teacher is far more likely to be cranky and less patient as well....
(I know I am )