I guess up untill this weekend we havent really had to many "functions to go to" but last weekend had 2 parties 1 a childrens party and one a dinner party. The kids party went well I took his tupperware platter(segmented) with all his gluten/diary free snacks in) and explained that he could eat anything of there and he coped well didnt even ask for any of the party food I just explained that it had gluten in and it would make him feel sick and start to cough.That evening we went to friends for dinner I found out what the menu was!!and all I had to take was GF gravy, nibblesfor him and dessert for him. upon getting there there were 5 other children there all stood round a coffee table full of the most delicious snacks(all of which were not GF free) I proceeded to get his snacks out but he looked at me with longing eyes and said "Mummy can I eat any of that food" Of course my heart broke and I said no and explained why he couldnt eat those foods and he was find for another 5 min and then asked again as all the kids were still eating!!God it just mad me feel so guilty as a parent and REALLY brought home how DIFFERENT life is for him.He is handling it well it is me who is an emotional basket case over the food thing now!!This morning went to preschool to find out they are having a international food tasting week GREAT!!!I know it is a fact of life now and we have to accept that there are going to be more times than not we will be iin these situations but I guess any parent going through this has a "GREIVING PERIOD" initially were they find it hard to deal with and guilty that your child is not the same as others. Up until now I have been fine about it but just the last few days has been shitty as we are reducing losec with not good effects, lack of sleep etc. I will give him a week to see if it is not just a rebound effect of the losec being reduced. I have been giving gavison too to get us through.
Just needed to vent to you lovely ladies who understand the joys of reflux and allergies!!
PPS I have just had words with my mother over her non understanding of food issues and wanting to take us for a Smorgaboard Chinese Lunch!!!Soya sauce and cornflour not a good combo for a GlutenFree person!!!So yes I AM feeling sorry for myself!!!
Mariya

Mariya hugs to you . Yes I find children's parties very hard. We are at a different stage to you and have had some difficult times. One party there was a big bowl of chippies for all the kids to share down at low level and they ate them but left lots of chip crumbs around the table it was a nightmare trying to keep Elise away from all those crumbs, short of vacuuming them all up there was nothing I could do except entertain her on my knee. Then at the other end of the scale the last party I went to my friend rang me up to check a few things and she included a few safe foods for Elise in the general party food so she would feel just like everyone else, I was amazed she would go to such lenghts she is a very thoughtful person. Every now and then you get a nice surprise. Sometimes just easier within your own four walls!
Claire

Ugh Mariya, I know how you feel! Hope the losec reduction goes well and it is a rebound thing - then you both can hopefully get some sleep. Poor James, it's so hard isn't it?

Katey is getting to the age where she sees all this lovely food but can't have any of it - and there is no reasoning as such with an 18 month old. I guess I am lucky as the bulk of my friends and all of my family know and are really careful with what Katey has to eat. Have had friends go to great lengths to make sure they are bringing a plate that Katey can enjoy too when we have had parties etc.

Must say the best thing for grandparents is for them to have the child (maybe overnight?) and see for themselves first hand what the result of the child being fed a food from the forbidden list! They certainly change their tune afterwards and are much more sympathetic to your cause LOL.

You are doing a good job, well done mum.

I guess the hardest thing is he knows what all the good food tastes like!!!!Hes not silly!! so at nearly 5yrs old to take all of that away he does feel ripped off.Who wouldnt!!!BUT on the other hand he is good about it becauses he relises how horrid it makes him feel. I know as a parent I MUST be positive and not make issues out of it(which I dont) I just bottle it up!!
Viv had to laugh at your comment re grandparents they have had him 1 night since he was born and he was up refluxing/coughing from 3am(Nana & Poppa up and giving him milk and cough meds)which in hindsite would have made him worse cough med probably had gluten in and well milk just sends him into a croup like cough immediatly!!! but Mother was on the phone to me at 6.45am to please come and get him!!(she said he needs the doctor!!) We live 1hr drive away and had a big night at a wedding so I was not impressed I was looking forward to my 1st sleep in ever.Not to be!!So anyway after that night I would have thought she would have given me abit more support but has just told me "am I intending to lock him away for the rest of his life" because I am not taking him to this lunch!!!God he would have heaps more fun playing with his buddy for a few hours than sitting at a table full of 17 adults eating food he cannot eat!!And me having to say NO when those longingly eyes look at me asking "Mummy can I eat that". URRRRRRRRRRR I know I have to get over myself but gosh its hard.

I remember the grieving about gluten sensitivity with Gem very well even though it was five years ago for us. Somewhere along the way it gets better and I can't tell you what the answer is, but honestly it does get better. By the time Gem went gluten free again after about a couple of years of eating gluten, I didn't even have that feeling. We just had to get her better. We couldn't continue to live with her in so much pain. When Christy was diagnosed later that year, I don't remember feeling anything other than relief that she was no longer going to have recurrent abdominal pain and vomit, and that there was something we and she could do. I haven't asked Christy if she grieved over it and she is asleep so I can't now but I don't recall any signs of grieving from her other than the odd wish for a cheeseburger. As for my own realisation that I was gluten sensitive, this was a celebration. I no longer need pain relief for headaches daily and have been able to reduce and even stop some medications. It also improved areas of my health I didn't realise were bad. I have been invited out for a meal soon that I may well not go to - $20 menu at a Thai restaurant sounds like it may be more difficult than worthwhile. How do you go out for dinner and not eat anything? Ofcourse the other option is to be prepared to spend the rest of the night in the bathroom and lose several kgs. hmmmmm
Gem is staying at our ex-neighbours tonight with another girl (not the neighbour's) who has coeliacs. I took some soy cheese for her dinner and they made pizza on gluten free panini for the two girls, and I also took some soy yoghurt for dessert as they were having fruit and yoghurt.
One suggestion I guess, is would he find it easier if you ate the same as him or at least only equivalent foods, like if we are going to have icecream I make sure we have soy stuff for Gem. At least when he is around. Were either of you tested as well? (We had mousse seeing as Gem wasn't here tonight and macoroni cheese with cows milk!)
We just don't eat at some people's houses anymore unless we take all our own food and for some people it also has to require absolutely no preparation because otherwise the cheese and crackers, ends up on the same plate as the gluten containing muffins.
BTW you are allowed to feel this way and we are happy to listen.

Thankyou for your kind words ladies it makes me feel like I am not alone!!
I have made our house totally gluten free after a slip up. I had some nutri grain in the back of the pantry and one morning after James had been gluten free for 6 weeks he got into them for breakfast. Instantly he started coughing and gagging and felt really grotty. In a way it was terrible for him but then again it has taught him what gluten does to him and how it makes him feel. So it was a valuable learning exercise and now if he wants something he cant have all I need to say to him is it will make you feel sick and cough lots and he accepts that because he did not like THAT FEELING!!
DH has just had the tests done to so we are waiting on the result but on his skin prick tests he came up allergic to dust mites so between the two of them my life has just got a whole lot busier baking and cleaning!!!!
We have all gone gluten free as it is so much easier cooking one lot of things than several and DH has benifited from a gluten free diet as he is covered in psorisis and that is clearing since being gluten free.
I am having a better day today just had reflux coffee group here and clucked over little babies and it just seemed like yesterday my ratbag was that size!!!At least the ladies got to meet James as normally he is at kindy and they hear all about him but never see him!!
Thanks again
Mariya

Read ur post and it brought tears to my eyes,
wishing you all the best

sylvia