ooh, I have everything crossed for you Sarah!!!!

i've got one too - the DPW (dreaded pink wipe) - lady muck made that one up i think.

and it's not too much info, i don't think, anyone who's lost a baby in any way would be checking every time they went to the loo. your awareness of all the kinds of things that could go wrong goes through the roof i reckon, no matter how you lost your baby

anyway - i didn't mean to post something blue, but it kind of turned out that way. i'm feeling good but knackered today - i had toy library duty (woot!), a totally pointless drive, 45 minutes each way for a child's birthday party that didn't eventuate, a shitload of housework in a short space of time, then dinner guests! just for a BBQ thank god or i'd be asleep by now!

how's everyone else?

HI Ladies, Just wanted to pop in with Well wishes for everyone,
It doesnt matter how many positive outcomes you have after a loss you are still paranoid right up untill your safely holding your baby in your arms, and then the pregnancy paranoia turns into "mummy/baby" paranoia instead,

Nimbus, Number 3 will happen if its ment to happen weither your trying or not

Thanks everyone - Heidigood to see you again, and you've made it to 22 weeks! That is sooooo cool.

I feel a bit like Groundhog day but this time with a different outcome hopefully 6 weeks today so that's better than the recent pregnancies.

Turkeydubs - I don't want to think about DPW! Good name though. I am exhausted too and I'm only so early - I don't know how pregnant mums do it. At least I can lie down when I want.

Hi ladies, can I join you here? I don't know how long I'll be here for....
Had it confirmed yesterady with a blood-HCG that I'm just four weeks preggers (a Discover HPT picked it up last Friday, wow, they are so sensitive these days, their claims are right!).

But I've had spotting all of last week and on Saturday it turned to light bleeding. Has slowed down again since then (knock wood for today!!) .

Went to GP on Friday afternoon to ask if I can go on anti-miscarriage drugs, after reading on here about heparin, progesterone, aspirin. He rang my FA speccy and they decided I can't take any of them - once the bleeding has started, it's too late, apparently And my specialist believes progesterone is a waste of time for a natural pregnancy.

I went through all this with my last pregnancy, I had lots of episodes of bleeding, multiple scans, they'd say it was alright, but then at our 12 week scan, the baby was dead (died at about 9 weeks - just after the 8 week scan I had had, confirming a heartbeart).

I think the bleeding is worse on this one I don't remember bleeding at 4 weeks last time, I think it started at 5.5 weeks.

Trying to be positive, for DH's sake, as he is so happy, but I'm terrified every time I go to the bathroom that there will be more blood.

We've been trying for nearly three long years, I found the last miscarriage so devastating and don't know how I can cope with another one.

OK, that's my rant and rave...sorry it's so long, I had to let it out somewhere ....thanks for listening !!

Tilly

big hugs tilly, you are very welcome here. thinking of you and how you're doing, please keep us updated

Tilly

Thanks girls
I'm just trying to stay sane. Sorry about the 'poor me' rant above, I've given myself a good talking to now and am trying to be more positive!

On a less positive note unfortunately, I see on the August MTB thread that SarahA got some worrying HCG results today
to you , Sarah, if you are out there reading this.
Hope everything is OK, maybe your levels are just slow to double !!!

Hugs to you all, T

tilly - it didn't sound like a "poor me rant", of course you are worried! and that's the whole point of this thread, i reckon, to have somewhere to voice all these thoughts and feelings we all have

thats what this thread is for, a place to voice/vent your concerns,

being pregnant after a loss is extremely stressfull, and sometimes just knowing you can tell somebody who has been where you are how your feeling, and know your not along, is a godsend,

because in all honesty. If somebody hasnt faced pregnancy after loss, they just cant and dont understand what an emotional rollercoaster it is, over and above what all pregnant woman experiance

Starfish - turkey (hehe) is quite right - it will be different to what you are expecting. And it is for only a short time. I found I kind of "went into myself" and just got throught it as it came. I thought I might swear etc, but I was pretty quiet although I grunted a lot with DS1. I pretty much only spoke as they were crowning - with DS1 I repeated "it hurts" and with DS2 "ow ow ow ow..." . I would talk to your MW anyway - they are used to it. Like Heidi, I was worried about an episotomy, among other things. I didn't get to do a birth plan with DS1, which was a shame in a way - everything went just how I wanted it to When I did the plan with DS2 (I insisted on doing it early, thank goodness - he was a month early), I chatted re the things I was "set" on (eg no pethidene) - and she opened my mind to a few things which was great (eg pethidene only if it was the last thing to try to avoid a forceps/ventouse delivery, and that I would trust her judgement as I DID trust her to know where I was "at" during labour). My second birth was fantastic too (except someone was in the birth pool so I got the bath instead, LOL), so I am really very lucky.

Sarah - congrats and welcome! ROFL at CLPAW. So true! Haha nothing is too much info here - we had a rather detailed conversation about snot-like CM at one stage. The exhaustion gets better, I promise. The first 12 weeks are the hardest I reckon! Ohhh just read you are worried about hCGs. I hope all is OK. Mine scared me with DS2 as well - they didn't climb as they were meant to, and in the past that had not been a good thing so I panicked. He is one now.

Tilly - welcome, and I have everything crossed for you. I had bleeding with my last (successful) pregnancy, and it scared the poo out of me.

Xmasangls - thanks for sharing, nice to see you here.

Tilly - I was put on aspirin and heparin because my missed miscarriage with Mac was put down to a likely blood clot in the placenta or somewhere. I didn't have any bleeding at all - so if your concern is about the bleeding I guess that aspirin and heparin wouldn't help, they just act as blood thinner / anti clotting agents.

Hi girls, thanks for your messages. In a very bad space today, have basically given up and am preparing myself for a miscarriage
Next BT on Monday but yesterday's results were not very good - it didn't double in 72 hours like it was supposed to (went from 147 to 272 in 72 hours, should have been at least 300).
Also the bleeding is gradually getting worse.

Expecting the worst on Monday - if I make it that far. Hope I don't have to do an A&E visit this weekend - they're the worst

Hi ho ho - yes I'll definitely be asking for aspirin and heparin after this, as I seem to have recurrent hematoma (blood clot) problems

Take care, Tilly

hey tilly - very sorry to hear it, i haven't experienced miscarriage so don't really have anything to offer except my best wishes. take care my dear.

Tilly, such a horrible thing to go through, especially when your TTC journey has been so difficult. Makes it even worse to bear I think.

Awesome though that you're on the wait list fo IVF in Feb. Try and stay focussed on that. I know someone who had 8 miscarriages, then went on to have IVF and carried successfully. I really hope you will be back here telling us about your BFP!

Take good care of yourself and cry as much as you need to. It will be super important that you grieve as much as you can so don't hold it in!

Wishing you all the best. xxx

Thanks.

Hey thanks Nimbus (and Tilly and everyone else with the lucky wishes) - fingers crossed for us for the blood test on Monday, I don't feel very hopeful but I do hear stories like yours. My HCG levels shot up in the first couple of blood tests and now just have plateaued. No bleeding though. We'll see on Monday I guess...I'll hope for your outcome!

Sarah

SarahA, I am really hoping that Monday brings some positive news for you

Hi all, thanks for your messages, I'm not grieving yet as there is no miscarriage confirmed for me yet either but it's definitely not looking too hopeful. Still bleeding and it is doing my head in. Next HCG test on Monday, just like SarahA.

SarahA, I have everythign crossed for you, it would be nice if we could be board buddies on the August MTB for the next 9 months!! (i've been too scared to post on there until I have my situation confirmed)

Txx

It would be great Tilly - I've got everything crossed for you too. I did go on August's board but have made a rapid retreat! Let's hope we can be buddies!!!

Look after yourself,

Much hope and love Sarah